Day 131
Hello sayang .
Nothing much I did today .
I woke up at 8am and started reading "Perfect Chemistry" .
I finished the book in 6 hours ! I can't put down the book .
The book is almost similar to our lovestory sayang .
I will try to find that book and buy it so that you can read it inside .
I cried most of the times in the book .
Because some of the scenes remind me of us .
I think I told you before about this book right ?
"Two different worlds, one true love."
It is a MUST read for us .
Well , other then that , here goes .
Sayang , I think I need to say some things that I need to tell you .
But before that let me tell you why .
I can't sleep yesterday . I read through those days where we fought in our blog .
And I realise many things that are the same .
Remember at the end of 2009 where you decide to change ?
And after that you really change for me .
You sacrificed a lot for me .
But I was blind . I was ego . I didn't care about a lot of things that you did for me .
I keep on asking for break ups . But you keep on running and holding on to me .
Even how many times I ran away from you , you keep running back for me .
I felt your love back then . Our love was so strong that even anything we did can't separate us .
But later , you were tired of those games .
Even if I run away , you stopped chasing me . You stopped looking for me .
You stayed home and hope that the next day is going to be alright .
That was when my love fade . And that was when I found Apiz to make me feel that I'm loved .
Oh my god , you don't know how bad I'm crying telling you all this right now .
But whatever he did , my love for you is still strong .
It might fade , but it doesn't go away .
You said that I'm like Lisa . Remember ?
I am never like her . You can't read my heart . And neither can I read yours .
But honestly , you are forever the love of my life whether you want to believe it or not .
When I confessed to you about Apiz , that was when everything falls apart .
Even if you said you are alright , I know you are mad .
That is why you took that thing right ?
I always blame myself about you being in jail .
You were too stressed about this relationship and the only way out is that is it ?
You took those thing when you feel stress . It is because you don't want to face reality .
What about me sayang ? What did I do ? I had nothing to relief my stress .
All I did was trusted you . Trusted you since the day you said you will change .
Remember the messages you sent me ? Let me show you some .
These are the exact things you said :
Nothing much I did today .
I woke up at 8am and started reading "Perfect Chemistry" .
I finished the book in 6 hours ! I can't put down the book .
The book is almost similar to our lovestory sayang .
I will try to find that book and buy it so that you can read it inside .
I cried most of the times in the book .
Because some of the scenes remind me of us .
I think I told you before about this book right ?
"Two different worlds, one true love."
It is a MUST read for us .
Well , other then that , here goes .
Sayang , I think I need to say some things that I need to tell you .
But before that let me tell you why .
I can't sleep yesterday . I read through those days where we fought in our blog .
And I realise many things that are the same .
Remember at the end of 2009 where you decide to change ?
And after that you really change for me .
You sacrificed a lot for me .
But I was blind . I was ego . I didn't care about a lot of things that you did for me .
I keep on asking for break ups . But you keep on running and holding on to me .
Even how many times I ran away from you , you keep running back for me .
I felt your love back then . Our love was so strong that even anything we did can't separate us .
But later , you were tired of those games .
Even if I run away , you stopped chasing me . You stopped looking for me .
You stayed home and hope that the next day is going to be alright .
That was when my love fade . And that was when I found Apiz to make me feel that I'm loved .
Oh my god , you don't know how bad I'm crying telling you all this right now .
But whatever he did , my love for you is still strong .
It might fade , but it doesn't go away .
You said that I'm like Lisa . Remember ?
I am never like her . You can't read my heart . And neither can I read yours .
But honestly , you are forever the love of my life whether you want to believe it or not .
When I confessed to you about Apiz , that was when everything falls apart .
Even if you said you are alright , I know you are mad .
That is why you took that thing right ?
I always blame myself about you being in jail .
You were too stressed about this relationship and the only way out is that is it ?
You took those thing when you feel stress . It is because you don't want to face reality .
What about me sayang ? What did I do ? I had nothing to relief my stress .
All I did was trusted you . Trusted you since the day you said you will change .
Remember the messages you sent me ? Let me show you some .
These are the exact things you said :
- Kalau u blum ready n susah nk maafkn i n lupakn,tkpe u. I faham. Tapi i btol2 beruba u.
- Syg,i sygkn u..i menyesal atas semua perbuatan i terhadap u..i nk bertaubat btol2 kali ni u..i nak hidup bahagia ngn u..u pls terima la i u no matter bpe lama it takes 4 u to 4get kesalahan i..i beg u..
- I tknk hurt u lgi..i tknk uat u susah ati..i nk jaga u ulak..terima kasih u slama ni i sakit u jga i..
- I akn buktikan..i will win ur heart back..i will show that i really love n cre 4 u..i tknk lukakn ati u lagi..i taknk..i ni memang tak guna u..semua salah i u.. semuanye punca kita gaduh dri i..
- Im sorry u..im really sorry against all my big n small fault all this n those times..im really2 sorry u..4give all my faults n sins towards u..i beg u..i want to be with u always n 4rever..pls trust me..i really3 love u so3 much..im really3 jealous to hear n see u with other guys which u fall for..i just want only me u love and inside ur heart n just think of me..i knew u love me,only think of me,n only me inside ur heart even though u fall in love with some other guys all tis time..i trust u..i dont want u to cry..i want u to be happy n smile always..u,i love u..i realize all my mistakes n sins towards u..u,pls dont leave me n give up on me..i dont want that to happened..pls u..i beg u..im sori..im sori..
And you know when all that was ?
It was October/November 2011 .
You told me all those words . I trusted you . But you betrayed me .
You lied to me . You lied to my face .
You lied directly to the girl you love so much .
But I'm still right there trusting you and be there for you every steps of the way .
Even now . Even when you are inside , the one you love and lied to is here waiting for you .
We'll change together . We'll be side by side if we need each other .
I can't blame you in this situation . Some of it is my fault for you being in jail .
I made you stress right sayang ? Stop denying please ?
Lastly about Angy .
Please tell me who is she to you .
During October 2009 was the days you knew her .
And according to our blog , those days were when we were breaking up .
Was it about her ? Tell me sayang . Did you tried to replaced me with her ?
Angy Asmara . Try to think sayang . Do you know her ?
I need to know .
I think I'm crying myself to sleep again tonight .
My heart will always belong to you . And to you only .
Comments