♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

Wow , da jejak 70 hari sayang . I masih strong enough to hold on . Alhamdullilah sayang . Sayang , I CONFIRM PAKAI BRACES ! Yayyy ! My mum da sign semua . I wear braces on July . Memang takut sayang . Tapi at the end of the day , my teeth will be perfect . (: Just like yours sayang . Tak sabaaar ! Hehe (: Today after school , I straight gi rumah you . I went to see your mum because her hand is in pain . I rasa dia banyak uat kerja rumah la sayang . Sayang , honestly I nak tolong your mum . But I'm too busy schooling . Sekarang second year and it's quite stressful sayang . I need you here to make me handle it . But I know you can't . After seeing your mum , I lepak dengan Zaim and Hakim . Dua2 berok ni uat I ketawe macam orang gila tadi . And sayang , I and Amalina no longer friends . Nanti bila sayang keluar , I ceritakan semua okay ? Sayang , I read your letter that you gave your mum . Tu pasal lah dia cari I . But you sumpah yang you and QQ takd...

Sayang ! It has been 69 days without you . Tomorrow is going to be 70 days without you . It is a looong time for me tau . Sayang , today I did nothing much . Semua penat sangat nak keluar . And we just keluar makan je . Another week has passed . So it has been 10 weeks without you . We've never been 10 weeks away from each other . IT'S KILLING ME ! Sayang ! Your mum sakit . Hatim told me dia da lama tak work . I'm seeing her on Tuesday . In 2 more days . I would have come sooner . But I'm schooling sayang . Sorry if I can't see your mum that often . Sayang , I'm still hurt sayang . I still don't know the truth . Hais . . . Love you still sayang . Still SO deep in love with you .

Hello Sayang ! Today , My schedule is full packed ! In the morning , I woke up and siap2 gi shopping ! Sayang , I spent almost 200 bucks on everything ! I bought Esprit , New Look and Cotton On . I bought a lot of things sayang . I just wish you were there . There is a new mall that sells all outlet stores . We should go there one day kay sayang ? It is very near your house sayang . Then after that , I hurried to Clementi to see Kak Aisyah . She wants to kill herself and whatever lah . It was all her fault and she nak uat tu lah ni lah . Menyampah sey ! And she tried to punch me sayang . But hey , dia ingat dia boleh sentuh I ? I pushed her back . Tak dapat pun tumbuk I . She's too dramatic ah sayang . One day I ceritakan you okay sayang ? Abang Hidir pun da give up on her . LIKE FINALLY EH ? I tahu sayang menyampah dengar pasal dia . Sorry . Hehe . And now I'm in the train . I was suppose to see Zaim after seeing Kakak . But then abang I nye tangan ...

Sayang , I can't write much today . I feel like there is something wrong with my heart . I can't breath properly right now . You know how much I miss you ? I need you here to help me get through this . It's scary sayang . I need you here . I love you so much sayang . I can't write anymore . I'm sorry .

Sayang . I'm frustrated with my lappy ! I hate it . I install benda then my pink colour themes semua gone ! ARGHHHH ! Kalau sayang ade kat sini , sayang mesti dapat uat I cool down sikit . But you are not here . And I'm still pissed off ! Arghhh , nevermind . Thinking of you can make everything just go away . Sayang , I'm missing you so much . I can't handle my cries whenever I think of you . I miss you so much sayang . I miss you so so so much . I'll say more tomorrow . But just today , I need to lay down and rest . I love you so much sayang .

In exactly 3 more weeks is our 5 YEARS ANNIVERSARY . I think by the time you receive this letter , it should be 16 May 2012 Sayang , we already reaching our 5 years . Do you still want to cheat on me ? QQ & Angy ? I still don't know about them . Please explain sayang . I went jogging again today sayang ! But I tetap rasa takde perbezaan je ? Haha ! Baru 2 hari exercise da bising2 . Tapi badan cramp2 tu ade lah . Sayang kat dalam uat badan amacam ? Da reach the minimum muscles you wanted tak ? Hehe (: Sayang ingat tak that time I suruh you exercise ? And I nak nampak you hilangkan boncet you by March ? Haha ! I tak bermaksud suruh you masuk dalam and uat badan . Tapi kadang ape kite kate means something else . Today 25 !!! I'm going shopping soon . Hee (: Sayang kat dalam , I tetap shopping . Ye lah , siapa suruh uat benda bodoh kan ? BLUECK ! Hehe (: LOVE YOU SAYANG . ALWAYS WILL LOVE YOU .

Sayang ! Badan I cramp2 sebab semalam exercise . Uwek uwek ! Sakit ! But it's okay lah . Kalau I tak rasa sakit , mana ade perubahan kan ? I just finished watching Berita kat Suria . And they talked about drugs . They showed some people in Changi Prison . And I was wondering whether one of them is you . But it's hard to recognise since everyone BOTAK ! Hee (: Your tattoo pun tak nampak . Sayang , I tadi kat class I day dreaming . I was thinking about the first time I got to know you . I was thinking what if you and I never meet ? What if you and I are not even together ? How will our lives be ? Will it be better or worse ? But knowing you and loving you , I think my live would be worse without you . Sayang , do you remember the day when we had our very first phone call ? It lasted for more than 2 hours . You were outside with your friends but still you chat with me on the phone . I remember the laughs we had . I still remember some of the things we talke...

Sayang , it's the starting of week 10 . Da 9 weeks I didn't get to hold you . Not even a little touch of you . Do you know how much I need that ? Sayang , today I gi jogging ! I'm going to try to lose weight . Since you kat dalam buat badan , I kat luar kuruskan badan . Hehe (: Tapi tetap I makan macam babs . Takmu ketawe eh ! Hmph ! Bila I dapat jumpa you eh ? Your mum busy kerja and since I have no card , your mum has to be there . ARGHHHH . I'll be there on our 5 years . I promise . I miss you sayang . I really do .

Sunday again . The usual Sundays . A family day . I would have change my phone today . But semua orang penat and terus tak jadi . I pun tak sure nak tukar ke tak . Sebab all your messages that you sent me are all inside . I don't think I would want to lose it just yet . Jap eh sayang , I nak go berak jap . Hee (: (5:14pm) I'm BACK ! Hee (: (5:28pm) Ish ! You kat dalam pun I boleh joke joke dengan you eh ? Hee (: I miss all our laughter la sayang . Especially those that we became some other people . Then we pretend we just know each other for the first time . I just want to laugh with you again . That is all I need right now . Because since you were gone , I can't even laugh as much as before . I'll be sleeping early today . Kepale I pening sangat . That is why I'm writing this in the afternoon . I takut I da tidur , terus tak bangun sampai besok . I love you as always sayang .

Selamat tengah malam sayang ! Haha ! I tadi satu hari kat luar . My dad ade reunion dengan kawan secondary school . So I reach home at around 11:50pm . Sayang , I baru lepas solat . And everytime lepas I habis solat , I mesti nangis teringatkan you . I banyak doa untuk you sayang . Every single time I doakan you , I mesti nangis . Do you see how deep is my love for you sayang ? I love you so much sayang . Sayang , bila you da keluar , we change everything kay ? We change ourselves . We change the way we live . We change our attitude kay ? I taknak gaduh2 lagi . I takut nak gaduh lagi . See what happened when we asyik gaduh je . You are now gone and I'm alone . Itu ke yang you nak ? I can't wait for your next letter sayang . MISS YOU ! ):

I just received your letter sayang ! Let me reply that for you . Waalaikumsalam Sayangku Hilman , <3 Right now my heart is in pain . But I okaylah . Kat luar sini macam biasa . Tapi lagi worse without you here with me . Gembira selalu ? Macam mane I nak happy without you ? I MISS YOU SO MUCH TOO ! I miss hugging and kissing you too ! I miss more than that ! I selalu doa untuk you too sayang . Thanks for all your prayers . Sayang , I da maafkan you . I memang da maafkan you . Memang you selalu lukakan hati I tapi I tetap cinta dan sayang sangat kat you . I will wait for you sayang . Of course I will wait for you ! Sayang , even if I solat dan doa agar I dapat teruskan hidup I ni without you , tetap susah sayang . I tetap akan rindu you . I tetap akan nangis hari2 . I really hope that you will be inside for at least 6 months because if longer than that , I tak tahu how I can survive anymore . Surprise eh ? Hmmm , taknak bilang ah . Until you bilang I true story pasal QQ ...

Sayang , I just sent a message to your brother and your mum . But unfortunately there isn't any reply at all . I want to see you . But they are not replying me . What should I do sayang ? Sayang , I miss you . That is all I can say for now . I'm bored without you . I have nothing to do without you . All I did was study and do nothing . Sayang , I don't know why . But JOM ? Will we ever do it again after all these thing that happened ? I don't know . I'm just craving for you right now . Starting school @ 8 tomorrow . I got to sleep . Love you . Goodnight .

Sayang , I just finished watching a movie "The Vow" from the computer . The movie is about a couple who had an accident and the wife totally forget her memory . And the husband trying his best to regain her memory back . Because all he wants is their moments that they had together . What if one day I had an accident and forgot all about you , And you are not here to regain my memory back ? Then all our love that we had together will just be your memory and not mine ? What would you do when you get to know this ? Imagine if you are the one that I've been thinking about all my life , and then just one unfaithful day , they were all gone . Will you be there for me after you are out from jail ? Sayang , I'm trying my best to live without you . But it is really killing me . I never stop thinking about you . I never stop reading everything about us . I never stop looking at your photos . I NEED YOU . You are my soul , my life , my EVERYTHING ! How can I l...

Sayang , I've been thinking lately . Are we meant to be together sayang ? Are we meant to be husband and wife ? I've learnt that when we need to stop something , we have to stop it slowly so that it won't emotionally affect us . Remember our fights we keep on having since October 2011 ? We are growing apart . We are not so close since the day I found out about your lies . Maybe Allah memang nak kite gaduh . Maybe Allah memang nak kite berpisah . So that when Allah akhirnya hukum you dengan masukkan you dalam jail , I takkan sedih and sakit hati . Allah has obviously planned this . Kite hanye boleh merancang . Dan Allah yang tentukan . Mungkin Allah da tentukan masa depan kite . And maybe this is to show us that we should not be together . Have you thought about this sayang ? When you masuk dalam , I got to know about QQ and Angy . Allah yang bawak I untuk dapat tahu pasal tu semua . Kenape sayang ? Kenape tiba2 I dapat tahu tentang banyak benda yang you...

HAPPY 4 YEARS 11 MONTHS SAYANG ! Another celebration of anniversary without you . Sayang , it has been two months without you . I'm still crying silently inside . Only god knows how bad it feels like sayang . I went to school today . My 1st day of second year in school ! Hopefully the time will fly fast since I will be busy schooling . Sayang , what about next month sayang ? What about our real anniversary ? What about our celebration of being together for 5 years ? Sayang , yesterday after 12am , I can't sleep . It was our 4 years 11 months anniversary . How can I sleep sayang ? I was looking through all my diaries about you . And I saw this one thing I wrote to you . "So what if we have been 16 months together ? I want it to be 5 years !" And unfortunately you won't be with me on our anniversary . Just now I pergi kedai bawah and the uncle ask about you . Since dia da lama tak nampak you . Then I kate you busy kerja . And when I walked aw...

Sunday . . . Well , family day as usual . Wake up in the morning , hanter Aqilah to Montessori . Then fetch my mum . Then fetch Fatin . Then fetch Aqilah . Then go for breakfast . Went to Ikea again today . Bought some chairs for the living room aje . Then home . My room is 100% complete sayang . FINALLY . Everything is in my room ! Tomorrow is school reopen . And tomorrow is our 4 years 11 months . It hurts so bad knowing I takle celebrate dengan you . Sayang , it really hurts sayang . Everytime I think about our day , I can't handle it but cry . All I can do is cry . What can I do kan ? I want you here . I need you here . But I have no choice but endure this pain . I miss you so much sayang . Honestly , sometimes I wish I rather be dead then facing all this . But I love you . I know I can do this . Help me through this sayang . Help me please . I love you . So much .

Sayang , today all I did was played TheSims . I da takde life lagi la . You are my life . And my life is in jail . Sayang , do you remembered the day that you told me everything about your life ? It was just few weeks after we go steady . Do you remember it ? You were texting me at first . Then you said you were in a club "enjoying the scenery" . And all I was thinking was you were dancing with other girls . It was 5 years ago . I was young . I didn't know anything . I got jealous and worried you were cheating on me . Were you ? I still don't know . But hey , it was 5 years ago . We are not serious yet right ? And then that night we text each other . And you told me every single thing that you did . I cried that night . Why ? Because I care for you . And we were like only few weeks together . Sayang , I remembered that night so clearly sayang . Even the first time we met on 25 May 2007 is still very clear in my head . I cried so bad that night . ...

Sayang ! Today I went to ask around for braces . Oh my god sayang , I rasa I confirm pakai braces sayang . Yay ! My teeth is going to be like yours ! We same same sayang ! Sayang , sejak you kat dalam , banyak benda I dapat uat . I renovate bilik I and finally I dapat braces . I rasa because since I have nothing to do , I concentrate on what I really want to do . Sayang , my school is going to start soon . And I tak confident on going to school without you . Sebab everytime I have you to talk to when I'm alone in school . I don't know whether I can mix with anyone right now . I guess if only someone know my condition right now , I would be friends with them . I don't want people to judge me . So I think I rather just be alone kan ? You've been there for me after all these years . And when you were just gone without warning , I'm just not prepared to face anything like this . Hopefully I can get through my school life . I miss you . 3 more days ...

Sayaaaaaaaaang ! I have menses ! Sakit ! ! ! Selalu I sakit gini , you were so worried . And then you tell me to makan sane minum sini . I rindu sangat dengan your care towards me . I want to hear that again . Sayang can you please write to me on what you would say when : I sakit rabak . I nga bad mood . I gaduh dengan my parents . I sedih . I feel lonely . I'm crying . I rindu you sangat sangat . Please sayang . List it down okay ? So kalau I feel any one those I stated , I akan baca surat you . Then I'll feel much better . Adoiii ! Sakit la sangat !!! I baring kat bed dulu then hopefully I dapat tidur . Still has not receive your surat . Hais . . . I miss you !

I don't know what to write anymore sayang . I belum dapat surat you pun sayang . Ape I nak kate ? I miss you ? Da selalu kate . I love you ? You pun da tahu how much I love you . I have nothing new to say sayang . My life have been so boring since you went in . I'm still stoning thinking of you . I wanna get busy with my life ! I nak masuk ape2 program just to make myself busy . I'm going to try to lose some weight . I'm going to study , study and study . Once school reopen , I will concentrate on my study . So that I won't be crying about you . Even if I'm busy , you will always be in my heart . I love you so much .

Sayang , da 50 hari without you sayang . Tak sangka I masih hidup . It's killing me without you here sayang . It's true . Semalam I nangis sampai tadi pagi I bangun , mata I tembel rabak sey you . And I bangun pagi2 gila je I terus uat bising . Aqilah kencing kat katil I ! Pagi2 da nak kene uat keje . Sayang , semenjak you masuk , I asyik cuba nak uat diri I busy . I tak kesah apa I buat . I cuba nak elakkan diri I asyik nangis pasal you . Pikirkan you selalu uat I just termenung and do nothing . Sayang nak tahu tak nari satu hari I macam babs kat rumah tau . Bangun , tidur , makan , main game . Tu je . See how is my life without you ? Really EMPTY . This is what you call empty sayang . I masih simpan semua message2 you and you asyik kate hidup you tanpa I empty . Tapi bila I takde dengan you , ape you uat ? You uat benda tu semua . Itu ke you kate empty ? Hidup you tanpa I lagi happening kan sayang ? Sayang when I said that I takle hidup tanpa you , I betu...

Look @ the time . Sayang , I miss you so much ! I'm crying so bad right now . It has been so long I cried this bad since you went in . I need you here please ! I don't know why am I writing all of this down . The feeling of just writing it all here make me feel that I'm talking to you . I miss your touch , your warmth and your kiss . I want that now please ! I don't know how I can handle this . Living right now in the world without you is a torture . I NEED YOU ! Please takmo uat I sensara kat sini please . I want to hear your voice right before I sleep . But I know it's impossible . I love you sayang . I will always ALWAYS sayangkan you . I need to go and wash my face first before I sleep . Goodnight my love . Hopefully I'm able to sleep soundly . You will always be in my heart . I am NEVER letting you go .

Sayang honestly today I had the best laughs of my life ! I miss laughing with you . And just now was fun sayang . We were like we used to be . We were joking with each other . But I was asking myself . Why do you want my picture for sayang ? Sayang nak tenung je ke kat gambar I tu ? Sayang ni rindu I sangat ke sayang ? Awww , I miss you too la sayang . And when you tell me to tell them that I'm your fiance , I was jumping inside . Hehe (: Hopefully it comes true ! Sayang , I fall for you over again . Just looking at you just now make my heart beats faster . This is why I tell you that I can never stop loving you sayang . I will fall for you over and over again . Sayang , tadi Aqilah sampai nangis sebab tak dapat tengok you . Kesian I tengok dia . Next visit I bawa Aqilah la sayang . Cute la dia . Sayang , after I reached home today , I read my diary . Most of the things I wrote is about us fighting . Sayang , did you remember exactly two days before you w...

Seeing you tomorrow sayang ! Another week is ending . Total , I've been 7 weeks without you . My body go numb whenever I think about it . Maybe all of this happens for many reasons . First is for you to realise all your mistakes that you did . Second is to let me become much stronger everyday without you . And third is maybe to show us that we are never meant to be . I don't like the third one . I've been loving you since we start showing love to each other . I've been loving you from the start . But every single day you hurt me and you never stop hurting me . You lie to me . You cheat on me with some other girls . You never listen to me . Everything that I say was true . You have been lying to me all this while . You hurt me whom you said that will be your wife in the future . When you are married to me , will you hurt me too ? But sayang , I'm still loving you . And I will never stop loving you . Why sayang ? Why I'm still loving you af...

Sayang , before I say anything about what I did today , I want to tell you something . Aqilah and I were nearly going to sleep yesterday . Then Aqilah tiba2 tanye I . "Kakak Fiqah , Abang Man go in jail because of what ?" "Kakak cannot tell you la sayang . Is very bad ." "Is very bad ? He kill someone eh ?" "NOOO !" "Then ? He fight with you ?" "No sayang . When Abang Man da go out , he tell you okay ?" Sayang , what should I tell her sayang ? She is still small . What should I say to her ? Maybe she never say . But I guess she misses you too . Today bila dalam van , my dad drive past the playground we teman dia . She then said to me , "Kakak Fiqah , itu playground yang you and Abang Man play with me kan ?" Everytime she says your name , makes me shed a tear . I miss you more than you can ever think . Hopefully one day she will get to visit you . Today as usual , I gi rumah Nyai I . Then reach h...

Sayaaang ! My room is done ! My room is finally done ! Tak sabaaar nak tunjuk sayang laaa ! It is so clean and all thing are new ! Happy la sangat . I've been busy with my room and the time flies so fast . But since my room is done , what should I do now ? The time will be really really slow starting from tomorrow . Hopefully sekolah starts soon so that I can be busy with work . This is the first time that I tak sabar nak gi sekolah eh ? Right now tekak I sakit . Takut besok demam je . Hopefully tak la . You kat dalam ade sakit tak ? Kalau sayang sakit , kat dalam ade ubat tak sayang ? I risau la sayang . And jangan suruh I takmo risau . I cuma dapat jumpa sayang 2 times a month . And bila I tak jumpa you , I risau sangat sangat . And tentang risau pulak , you takmo risau tentang I kat dalam . Selagi I dapat bagi you surat , selagi tu you dapat tahu khabar I . Walaupun I bilang you I sakit , don't worry because ni sakit sikit je sayang . Sayang , tunggu l...

I did nothing today . Totally nothing . Looking at the computer . Staring at the computer . Honestly , since you are gone , I have no life at all . You are the colours of my life . That is why I can't let go of you . But when right now since I can't do anything , I just move on . I need to continue my life sayang . Seems like I'll be seeing you this coming Monday . Confirm ! But unfortunately I won't be seeing you face-to-face . See you soon ! Tell me why even if you did something so wrong , I'm still waiting for you ? Tell me why even you lied to me so many times , I'm still missing you ? Tell me why even if you da pijak kepale I , I tetap cinta and sayang sangat kat you ? Lepas you keluar and if you still do this , what do you want me to do sayang ? Do you still want me to be stupid and stay ? Or will you just break me apart and tell me to leave you ? Honestly sayang , I will still stay . I want to guide you . I want to be there for you ...

Sayang , every night this is what I see . Every night all I see is my handwriting . Every night all I see myself writing a letter for you . I feel lonely without you sayang . I feel really lonely . When can I see your handwriting instead of mine ? Why haven't I receive any letters yet ? You are not writing to me is it ? Sayang , I miss you . I want you out soon . I now know that I tak boleh hidup tanpa you . You are my soulmate sayang . I know you jodoh I sebab kalau tak I won't be missing you so bad right now . I rindu suara you . Walaupun kite asyik gaduh , hati I tetap untuk you . Why did you have to go sayang ? Why did you have to leave me here alone ? Every night , I've been talking to you without fail . Even if we fought , we will ALWAYS talk at night . Right now it is just so empty without you sayang . I slept the whole day . I think I'm getting back to the time where you baru masuk . I think I'm sad all over again . I want you here with me . PLEASE !

Sayang , I might be seeing you this Saturday ! Buy Televisit la . Bukan face-to-face visit . Sebab your mum kate face-to-face visit jauh sangat la sayang . Hais , next time I jumpa you sorang2 , I amek face-to-face kay ? Sayang , I spent most of my time kat rumah je sayang . Nothing much . Masih nak kene pasang sana pasang sini . Bilik belum siap lagi . Sayang , I miss going home late at night . I miss the calls from my dad telling me to go home . I miss the nice cold breeze at Bedok every night . I miss you . Kalau you tak masuk , I rasa sekarang kiter nga ketawe2 on the phone . We will talk about bila next time kite boleh jumpa . We will talk about what happened today . We will start our merepek and start role playing that ypu jadi DJ kat radio . We will start talking about joming . But right now all I have is your photos and your messages . I talk to your photo every night . Staring at your photo every night . Reading your messages every night . What more can I do sayang ? School is...

Before I tell you anything . I nak bilang I nye dream sebelum I lupa . I dream about you again ofcourse ! This is my dream: I woke up seeing you on my bed . I terperanjat . I said: You da keluar ? You said: Tak , I keluar sekejap je . I rindu you . I: You da gila ke ? You tak lama lagi akan keluar kan . Kalau you uat gini nanti lagi lama you keluar . You: I da suruh orang cover I . I: Takmo merepek la you . You: I rindu you sangat tapi you macam tak happy gitu nampak I . I hugged you and cried . You hugged me back . My parents suruh you patah balik cepat2 sebab police will find out soon . We kissed for a long time and you have to go . My dad hantar you . It feels so real sayang . In the dream I feel your touch and your kiss . I terbangun pagi2 . Then I cried again . I miss you like hell sayang ! I went to your house just now . And I read you letter . Sayang , when I read the letter , it shows that you are originally a good guy . I can see how much you love your mum . And I read what yo...

Sayang ! I just finished with some of my furniture . I pasang semua furniture I tau ! Nanti kalau you da keluar I tunjuk you . Sayang nak tahu something tak ? Nari banyak benda have something to do with 16 . Tadi kat Ikea , coincidence I line up kat counter 16 . Total harga benda2 I is 1167 . ade 16 kat dalam ! Then bila pasang2 furniture , total screws are 16 for each furniture . Hee (: Penat I this past few days . Asyik tidur lambat , bangun pagi . Eye bags I pun da boleh nampak . Da macam you ! Hehe (: And sayang , sayang ingat tak Badrun cousin I ? Dia baru dapat accepted jadi police jaga2 kat prison . Then my dad bilang dia suruh jaga you . Haha ! I bilang my dad yang you boleh jaga diri you lah . Kay la sayang , penaaat sangat I ni . Goodnight my Love .