Day 102

Hello sayang .
I was thinking a lot about us today .
I don't know whether I should even say it .

I'm still in doubt sayang .
I masih keliru .
I love you sayang . I love you more than you know .
But do you ? Do you love me like I love you ?
Sayang , I'm not forcing you to love me .
Kalau you rasa yang you kesiankan I , that is not love sayang .
I don't say "I Love You" to any guys .
When I say , I really mean it .
But when you say it , is it real ?

If your love is real , why do you always do this to me ?
Da 3 kali you tinggalkan I macam gini .
Dulu DB , then prison and now DRC prison .
Is that what you want your life to be ?
Everytime I ask myself this:

• Why can't I hate you ?
• Why do I even love you and miss you more ?
• Why can't I leave you ?

I need some answers from you sayang .
And please promise me whatever you are going to tell me is the truth .
I want you to be happy .
And if being with me is making your life much worse , I want you to go .

Did you realised that you started going in prison when you are with me ?
And when you were with your ex , you never did .
Sayang , I will still love you even if you decide to leave .

You hurt the one that loves you the most .
You hurt the one that has been there for you everytime you need someone .
You hurt the one that has been taking care of you when you're sick .
You hurt me sayang .
And I am still so hurt .

Believe me when I say that I'll still be there when you are out from jail .
Because my love will always be for you . And only you .
I love you .
I really really do .