♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

Before I tell you what I did today , I want to tell you about the dream I had . After hantar Aqilah gi school this morning . I was watching pink before I sleep . Shut up , don't laugh . Then I fall asleep after that . I dreamt about you . Dream : You are finally out . We were at paris . My family were all there . We were alone in room . You were like , "Jom?" But then my cousins disturbed us and your friend also came . He ajak kite keluar makan and you said okay . I badly miss you . I was quite mad when you agreed to go out and eat with your friends . I badly want to be with you alone . Then we left and suddenly we were singing on swings . We both fell and laughed . I look at you and cry . I miss you so much and we just can’t have one alone time together . When you kiss me , I woke up . I looked at the time and it was 1:45pm . I would rather go back to sleep and never wake up until you are out from prison . Hais . . . So sayaaang , today is VERY borin...

Hello sayangku yang ku amat sayang seumur hidupku . Hehe . It's almost 9pm right now . I reached home at 8:20pm just now . I WENT SWIMMING AND BOWLING !!! Gerek la sayang . I went with my attachment friends . I went to Sauna too . It was sooooo hot ! But it was a fun experience . The Steam Bath was so funny . We got into the Steam Bath , then it was extremely hot . We can't touch the floor because the steam was coming from below . We were like trying to get out . Haha ! I climb sana climb sini . It was fun sayang . After that I went to eat and straight home . It is only at Yio Chu Kang . Very near to my house . Next time , if can , we go kay ? Sayaaang , I've been feeling so guilty since the day I drink . I feel so so bad sayang . Do you feel like this when you took that thing ? Did you feel guilty for not telling me the truth ? Do you even have at least a guilty feeling whenever you see me ? I want to know that sayang . Do you ? When I first visit yo...

Hello sayang ! I am so tired . Hehe . I was stuck at home for a day yesterday . And I NEED to go out . The more I'm at home , the more I think about you . And I will start crying and crying about you . I just need some air sayang . I met Yaya at City Hall today . I bought a swimwear for tomorrow . I'm going out with my friends tomorrow . Going to have lunch then bowling then swimming and probably play pool . So today the whole day with Yaya . She is the only one that is free . The rest all da start sekolah . And I'm having holiday . When we were at City Hall , I keep on saying , "That time aku dengan matair aku . . .  . . ." There are a lot of memories at City Hall sayang . And I miss every single one of them . Then at almost 8 , Abang Hidir joined us . We chat and everything . Yaya is still with me . Then at around 9:30pm Yaya went home and I went to meet Hidir's cousins at Clarke Quay . We all just lepak and all . Then his kakak seda...

Sayang , how are you sayang ? Why do I feel like you're not alright inside ? I wish I can call you and get to hear from you . I know it's impossible . I really wish I can . I hope you are alright . ): Sayang , semalam I booked to visit you on Friday , 6th July . I need to see you every week ! But I know I can't sayang . I can only visit you twice a month . Tapi kalau I visit you every week , you jelak tak ? I tahu mesti tak kan ? Sebab kita selalu jumpa hari2 . Sayang , tadi petang prison called me . I asked them about whether you would get tagging or not . And they told me that they will get back to me soon . I texted your brother yesterday , but there isn't any reply . There isn't any reply from your mum as well . I rasa prepaid low eh ? Takpelah . I tunggu je lah . Hopefully the prison will call me soon . I need to know about it . But what if they say that you will not get that program ? You will be out on February 2013 . I will have to w...

Sayang , I have a lot to say about today . So , maaf eh kalau panjang sangat . Hee (: I was so excited for today that I woke up so early . But then I rasa sakit kat my jubs . It literally felt like ade orang just put something inside there . DON'T LAUGH EH ! Sakit seyyy ! I was so sure that I would go out at 12:30pm and arrive on time . But then bus 45 came so late that I arrived there on the dot . Luckily I am allowed to see you . I was nervous . I don't know why . I was so nervous to see you . There were like so many questions in my mind . "What should I say ?" "Should I surprise him or something ?" "Should I ask about Angy ?" I was really so anxious but excited . While I was walking down the pathway to the place . I remembered the first time I visited you . I didn't talk much . But I keep on starring at you . I just don't know what to say . Hmmm , when I see you , everything that I wanted to say just gone fro...

Just a few more hours and I'll be seeing you sayangkuuu ! I can't wait !!! Lagi2 face to face sey sayang ! Hee (: Tapi kalau takde glass tu kan better . At least I can feel you once again . Sayang , do you crave for me like I do ? Do you remember the days after we are forced to break up ? And then when we were back together again and we can't stop seeing each other . Then you didn't go to work for one week just to see me every single day . You are just irresistible to me . You never stop wanting to see me too . Do you remember those days ? I remember those days clearly sayang . And it always make me shed a tear . It was like we miss each other too much that we need to see each other every day . When you're free , I would spend 24/7 with you . I don't care whether I go home or not . I just want you to be there with me . Because I'm scared if I turn around just a while , you'll be gone again . WHY DIDN'T I SEE YOU ON 20 FEBRUARY ...

Sayang ! I received your letter again !!! Haha ! I was jumping kat bawah blok I tadi . Sayang ni , your mum told me that she didn't receive any letter from you . Tu pasal la dia tak dapat ! You gave both to me . Sayang , you will be angry at me if you read this . I tadi minum . ): But just one small cup . I AM SO SORRY ! I tak minum lagi . I PROMISE ! I feel so baaad . Sayang , maafkan I please ? Tadi I went outing with my attachment friends . It was AWESOME ! We laughed so much that my guts came out . HAHAHA ! I'm going out now to meet Hakim and Zaim . Will be back soon and write again sayang . Love you . 12:30am Sayang , I'm baaack ! I reached home at exactly 12am . Penat sey satu hari I keluar . Sayang I just heard the song , "Like A Rose" . I cried immediately . Sayang , am I really that special to you sayang ? Are those lyrics really for me ? Every single word of it ? Tell me sayang . Sayang , I feel so guilty sayan...

Sayang ! Today is the 123 days without you . Haha ! The number cool lah . Eh eh salah , "tool" lah . It's 1:10am right now sayang . And right now is the starting of my HOLIDAYYY ! Holiday is not fun without you around sayang . Nothing is fun anymore without you . Honestly , you always put a smile on my face 24/7 . But when you're gone most of the fun just stopped . Anyway sayang , tomorrow I'm going out and teman my friends . They are my attachment friends . They are Shan , Naqiyah , Nabil , Zul and Andrew . Shan is an Indian girl . She is a lesbian . Naqiyah is Malay girl . Shes gerek and crazy at times . Nabil is a BIG flirt . He's a Malay guy . He's so call the cool guy lah . Zul is my secondary school mate . But I don't talk to him much during secondary . He's gerek . Andrew is an Indian guy . He's really a cool and funny guy . All of them are fun to the max . I'll tell you more about them when you keluar kay...

Sayang !!! Now it is 3:28am . And I'm obviously not asleep yet ! Padahal besok ade attachment tau . It will be afternoon shift . So takpelah . Tomorrow last day of attachment and I'm free ! So later since on Monday I visit you , I'm going to celebrate with you . Haha ! Nothing much actually . Ish ! I tak rasa ngantok sey . Anyway sayang , so far how's inside ? Haritu I visit you , you macam happy je ? Sebab dapat jumpa I eh ? I tahuuu ! Hehe (: Sayang , don't worry kay ? Nanti bila surat yang you dapat tagging da sampai , I will apply for home phone . You asyik kate je kat visit . Irritating je . Hmmm , bila you dapat keluar eh ? I riiindu pelukan you . Hais . . . Love you sayaaang !

Hello sayang ! Today I kerja petang . And it was totally so the lepak ! Haha ! I nearly finish all my skills . My teacher is really very strict ah . I will tell you more about her if I remember . I miss telling you stories about all the things that happened in my attachment . You'll be laughing about the stories about some of the cute patients . And you will be supporting me about the really annoying instructor . I miss having you there waiting for me after my attachment . I miss being with you after my attachment even if I am really really tired . I don't care how tired I am . Because I know when I see you , my tiredness would eventually disappear . Sayang tadi break time , you mum called me . She was just asking me how was I . She asked me whether I've eaten or not . I asked her the same thing too . I asked her whether she was alone at home . But she isn't . She was at home with Madan . She called me just because she wanted to know what time I r...

3 more minutes to midnight ! Sleeping late today since I slept at 6 and woke up at 9 just now . Sayang , today both my adek tidur kat living room . So I am aloneee ! Nak join ? Hehe (: Sayang , this morning I cooked myself some nuggets and french fries . It was 5:30am and I need to eat before going to attachment . It was very quiet during that time . That was when I remembered waking up early in the morning to cook for you . Ingat tak sayang ? You mengindam nasi goreng I . Then I sanggup bangun pagi to cook it for you since we are meeting each other in the morning . I miss having breakfast with you . I miss the dessert after that . I miss the times we watched Martha and you liked to make the sound of the song . I miss the times we watched movies together after those TV shows . Sayang , ingat tak we watched the movie Selamanya ? The Indonesian movie . Did you remember that I fell asleep during the movie and I was lying on your lap ? My eyes was close at firs...

Sayang , I just came back home . (12:40am) I lepak with Zaim and Zul . Zul is kawan attachment I . Sorry I balik lambat . Sayang , sejak you pergi , this is like just once I keluar balik sampai nak pukul 1 . And it is like dekat daerah rumah I . My father bising2 and ungkit balik cerita lama . Kate I tak kemas rumah lah . I tak cuci baju lah . Semua dia kate I tak uat . Then when I do it , diorang tak nampak pe ? Then Fatin pulak kat rumah macam queen . Dia school holiday and all day long kat rumah . Bilik berserak pun tak tahu nak kemas . My parents expect me to do all the work ?! I balik attachment penat2 semua tak pikir ? Yang Fatin kat rumah tak uat ape2 tak marah ? I need you . I need you right now . I cried after I marah Fatin and wishing you were here to console me . I cried even harder knowing that I don't have you to cry to . Sayang , I need you in my life . I need nothing more . Just having you in my life is all I need . Don't do this to me ...

Hello sayang . I'm so full ! My tummy is BLOATED ! I went to eat MadJack and I ate a lot . I cannot tahaaan ! But I berak already . Ahhh ! I think I increase weight tau ! I rasa you keluar , you terus tinggalkan I sebab I fat . HAHAHAHAHAHA ! Anyway , I tadi go Wild Wild Wet . So tired sey . But we had fun . Aqilah bila balik terus terjun kat katil . Hahahahaha ! Sayang , I can't believe I'm able to see you alone in 8 days . Yay ! Face-to-face lagi . Sayang , I'm still thinking about yesterday . I keep on smiling to myself tau ! You ni , uat orang tengok I macam orang gila gitu . Sayang , my brain not working . Haha ! I'm so full and tired . Tomorrow attachment petang . Tired already . Okay BYE ! Hehe (: LOVE YOU . MMMMMUUUUAAAHH !

Sayang ! Hello ! First thing first : HAPPY 61st MONTH-SARY SAYANG ! I just came back from lepak with Hakim and Arun . Sorry balik lambat . I was bored . So , let see . . . I woke up early today to siap2 to see you . Then your mum called me to teman her to a jemputan . I then terus tukar baju to baju kurang slack . I was so excited to see you sayang . Because today is our day and I want to see whether you remembered it or not . AND YOU DID ! That was the first thing you said to me . And I wanted to cryyy ! I just want to hug you . I planned with your mum to act sedih when I'm hiding . Your mum acting baik jugak eh ? Hehe ! You fell for it !!! Sayang , I was so surprised hearing that you da khatam Quran . ALHAMDULILLAH sayang . I was so happy . I want to see you change when you are out . And you're giving me so much confidence on you just now . When I was on the way to the jemputan , I was thinking about that . And I know you can lead me and our fami...

OH MY GOD ! Sayang you know what ? Aqilah came home running to my room and shouted , "Kakak Fiqah ! Abang Man nye letter !!!" My leg was in SEVERE pain just now . I can barely walk . But when I heard that , I ran to Aqilah and took that letter . Honestly right now , my leg is much much better . See ? I NEED you to make my pain go away . Even just getting a letter from you really make myself cheerful right now . Sayang , you never did told me who Angy was . I still NEED to know . Hais . . .

Why do we have to be separated like this sayang ? I really need you now sayang . I really do . When I'm hurt , I think of you . When I'm in pain , I think of you . When I'm alone , I think of you . ANYTIME , ANY DAY , ANYWHERE , I THINK OF YOU . And all I get was bad memories of you . What did I do wrong to deserve all this sayang ? I want you right here with me . I'm craving so much for you . And all I can do is think of you and look at your photos and videos . The only way I can touch and feel you will be in my dreams . Oh gosh , I'm repeating everything all over again . Right ? I say all this to you many times in the letters already . You must be irritated . I'm crazy in love with you sayang . Even everything you did to me I stayed and trusted you . Even now , I know you will change once you are free . Do you even love me sayang ? I would give up anything just for you . But would you ? Everyday I feel like some part of me is eaten of b...

Sayang , right now it is 5:10PM . And I baru balik rumah from attachment I . You , I nak nangis !!! Kaki I in really in so much pain ! I don't think you can even imagine how much pain I am in ! Too much standing at attachment just now . And sayang , guess what ?! Someone stole duit I kat staff room . It was in my wallet lagi ! And my wallet is in my bag ! I lost $30 . And moreover , my teacher said it's my own risk . THEY DID NOT EVEN PROVIDE US WITH OUR OWN LOCKER ! Benci sey ! My duit hilang gitu je and they say they cannot do anything about it . Nevermind . My parents akan bagi I duit for me tomorrow . Sayang , my leg is ACHING PAIN . I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed you ! (count the "e") Hehe (: I really need you . My family and I are watching Madagascar 3 later . So maybe balik lambat . That is why I am typing this right now . Oh , and one more thing sayang . Just now I was so angry about my money , I smoked one stick . Sorry . At least I terus terang ...

Sayang ! I'm still so tired . Tomorrow I pagi pulak tau . Going to be much much more tired . Anyway sayang , did I tell you that I'm the leader of the attachment ? Hehe . Okay tak I jadi leader ? Sayang , since you were gone , I only have my family . And they have been so supportive and understanding . They have been so so gerek . They have been asking to go out for movies . Tomorrow we are going to watch Madagascar 3 . Then maybe next week , we are going to Wild Wild Wet . Maybe they are trying to cheer me up . I menyesal treating them like how I treated them dulu2 . I don't know who to tell , so I share dengan you . Oh , sayang ! I borrowed this one book . It's called , "Perfect Chemistry" . It's about a couple from two different world , fall in love . It's like you and me . I belum lagi start reading , so I'll tell you once I finish reading . I hope you're doing fine sayang . I miss you too much . 3 more days to our ...

I AM SO TIRED ! T-I-R-E-D ! I have to buy a new shoes today for attachment . And I have to wear it immediately ! My leg hurts so bad sayang ! Wishing you were here to urutkan kaki I . You always urutkan I whenever it's painful . Even if any part of my body is painful , you would always massage for me . But now you are not here . Uwek ! ! ! Sayang , I learnt something today . It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence. It you don't really get what it means , it means that I will only realise how happy we were when I start to feel sad . I will only know how noisy we were everyday since the silence kills me when you're gone . I will only know how much you mean to me when you're totally gone . Everyday in attachment , I say to myself this : "Just few more days till I see you . Just bear with this a little while ." That is how I go through my everyday life actually . I miss you so bad ! ...

Sayaaaaaaaaaaaang ! I ngantok ! And it is only 8:53pm ! Penat sangat la kat attachment tadi . Da la kat Tan Tock Seng ! Jauh lak tu . I woke up early today for sahur . After sahur , I went back to sleep and set alarm at 5:50am . But then I terbangun at 6:33 and kelamkabut because I set the alarm at 6:50am instead . Kelamkabut macam tokang pecah ! Haha ! But I was able to go out on time at 7am . Then , bus pulak uat hal ! Bus drive , nenek I jalan pun boleh sampai dulu ! But then luckily my instructor tak bagi punishment since it is the first day . I shouldn't have puasa today . Sakit sangat perut I and pening2 . I takkan puasa la besok . I takle take it . Should have listen to my imaginary you in my mind . Hehe ! I will eat okay sayang . Don't worry . So how are you inside sayang ? Makan betul tak ? Tidur lena tak ? Berak cebok tak ? HAHAHA ! I'm in good mood la sayang . Thinking about our fun days so much today . And those memories make me laugh . 5...

Sayang ! Today is 111 days without you . Cool kan number tu . Hehe (: Sayang ! Today I bangun pagi2 to order cake . Then at 5 I sampai rumah you . I bought the cake for your mum ! Her birthday is tomorrow but I celebrated her birthday today since tomorrow I da start attachment . She was so cute ! Haha ! We talk for a few hours because I have to leave soon . My cousin semua datang rumah I . Anyway sayang , I baru lepas siap2 untuk tomorrow . I'm nervous but excited ! Hopefully I'm able to finish my attachment with enough skills . Wish me luck okay sayang ? Eh, takpe lah . Sebab by the time you receive surat ni , attachment I pun da habis . Haha ! :D OH ! And sayang ! Tadi I terserempak dengan "bestfriend" you Apek . He gave me way to walk first , and look at me surprised . I think he knows that you are inside and wondering I uatpe kat sane . Tu je . Okay , you will be angry at me if I tell you this : I want to puasa the whole week starting tomor...

Hey sayang . I'm surprise that I'm not tired . I've been up since 11am then siap2 to go Sakura and eat with family . Then after that watch Men In Black 3 at cinema . Lastly we went to NTUC . Sayang , before we went to watch MIB3 , my parents decide to "lepak" . We went up to the rooftop of Nex Mall . I really don't want to go there . It makes me think of our happiest day . It makes me think about your birthday where I gave you that iTouch . The thing that you sold away . Anyway sayang , talking about birthday , your mum's birthday is this Monday . 11 June . And I'm planning to buy her a cake . Since you forgotten her birthday last year , I was thinking celebrating with her behalves of you . But since Monday I da start attachment , I'm seeing your mum tomorrow then . Paisey sangat tau ! Wish me luck ! Hehe (: Miss you most sayang !

Sayaaaaang ! I penaaat ! I tadi go jogging . 5 rounds . 400m x 5 = 2000m I'm trying to get rid of my babat ! I tahu you and your mum kate I da susut . But I just feel fat . I don't know why . Anyway sayang . I was just wondering , is your love for me still there ? I know it's a stupid question . But is it still there ? Have you ever think that I will replace you ? Have you ever stop thinking about me ? Trust me sayang , I will never replace you . It has never cross my mind at all ! Takkan I nak hooray-hooray kat sini abey you sensara kat dalam kan ? I love you . I will never do that . I've been thinking about your future sayang . What are you going to do after you keluar ? Do you need my help ? I would help you in any way sayang . Do you want to go back to school ? We can plan it through together sayang . Whatever your choice is , I want to be there for you . Just don't push me out of your life okay ? I'll see you in 8 more days . I lo...

Hey sayang . It's 1:30AM right now . I can't sleep . School's over . Do you know how boring my life is without you . Moreover it's HOLIDAY ! Holiday is suppose to be fun . But I'm not having fun right now . I just want you here with me right now . That is all I ask for . You here right next beside me . I'll trade anything ! Even my life to just feel you once again . I feel so lost without you sayang . Everyday I wake up , I just wonder if I can live another day again . And even if I survive everyday , I will never be as happy as I was with you . You will be back , I know . This is just temporary . I know . But it's killing me every single day . I want my love back . I want my life back . I miss you SO bad ! Please don't ever do this anymore . PLEASE .

Hey sayang . Right now it is not night time . I decide to write today's letter right now , 6:44pm . I just watched a sad love story . And of course I was thinking of you . I never stop saying "What if?" in my head . I don't want to lose you . And I know that you wouldn't want to lose me either . But what if it's our time to go ? What would you do if I were to leave you first ? Would you cry all night long ? Or would you change the way you are and live the life to the fullest ? Sayang , you know my heart condition right ? I'm still not sure what is happening . I don't want to do any scan b/c I'm scared to know the truth . So the thing that I want to know was , ~ What if you know that I'm going to live for one more day , what would you do ? Tell me on the next letter . I want to know . And don't worry ! I'm perfectly fine right now . Trust me . I am perfectly fine . Sayang , I know I tell you this many times . Bu...

Hello sayang . My head hurts so bad . Been studying and studying this whole day . And I'm not too confident with tomorrow's paper . Tomorrow is my last paper . Then HOORAY enjoy ! So that is why I burn every second of my time studying . Hopefully I'm able to do it ! It's almost midnight now sayang . I'm still going to study for a while more . I miss you so bad sayang . Today I went down at almost 10pm to check the mailbox . Your next letter is not in yet . But going down at night makes me think of the days you would come down my place . And it was just for a few hours just to see me . I miss those times sayang . Be back soon okay ? Every part of me misses you . Love you .

Hello sayang . 15 weeks had passed and today is the starting of week 16 . I just had my test just now . And guess what ?! It was easy ! Alhamdulillah I can do it ! I think about you the whole time before the exam . I think it brought me luck . Hehe (: Is our love that strong sayang ? Is our love that strong that makes me so confident whenever I think of you ? Sayang , I just read the days we started quarreling . It was since 9th October 2011 . 9/10/11 We've been going on and off for 4 months ! FOUR MONTHS . Sayang , honestly tell me , was it my fault that we quarrel ? Was it my fault that I keep on asking for break ups ? For 4 months you didn't change even when you promised me that you will . I was dying every day because of our quarrels . Didn't you realise it ? Didn't you realise that I'm getting weaker everyday ? Because during those times I knew that we are going to really end one day . And I wasn't ready for it . I just need you to l...

Sayang , it's going to be 12 soon . And I've been studying the whole day . Sayang , I can't really concentrate . I keep on thinking about you . I miss studying with you . Today I got so irritated on why do I have to think of you so much ! I have to study but you keep on appearing in my head . I stopped studying and just look out the window for awhile . There I stood thinking about you . I cried . Just let it all out . I remembered you siting at the pondok behind my house talking to me on the phone . And I was at the window making fun of you . Looking at that pondok always makes me cry . Sayang , my test is tomorrow . I'll imagine you are there with me during my test . Hopefully that will bring me luck . I love you forever and always .

Hello sayangku . Today it's Saturday and I have to go to school this morning . It feels more like a weekday to me . I baru lepas belajar sayang . I'm resting for a while and then belajar lagi . My test is in 2 days . I wish I can hear you wish me luck . I cried all of a sudden just now . I was thinking about the phone call we had after our huge fight on 18 February . Ingat tak sayang ? I really thought we were over . I really did give up on you that day . I was shocked that you sanggup kate2 tu semua kat I . But then later that night you called me and said sorry . But I know we were really over . I mati2 taknak tidur sebab I nak habiskan something that I have been doing for you . Because I know the next day will be the last day we see each other . You ask me to sleep . You told me that tomorrow won't be the last day . We are still together . I cried myself to sleep . Sayang , ape you kate on that day is it true ? Do you remember what you said ? I rememb...

Hello sayang . I was thinking a lot about us today . I don't know whether I should even say it . I'm still in doubt sayang . I masih keliru . I love you sayang . I love you more than you know . But do you ? Do you love me like I love you ? Sayang , I'm not forcing you to love me . Kalau you rasa yang you kesiankan I , that is not love sayang . I don't say "I Love You" to any guys . When I say , I really mean it . But when you say it , is it real ? If your love is real , why do you always do this to me ? Da 3 kali you tinggalkan I macam gini . Dulu DB , then prison and now DRC prison . Is that what you want your life to be ? Everytime I ask myself this: Why can't I hate you ? Why do I even love you and miss you more ? Why can't I leave you ? I need some answers from you sayang . And please promise me whatever you are going to tell me is the truth . I want you to be happy . And if being with me is making your life much worse ...

Sayaaang ! Right now it's 1am !!! I can't write too long sayang . I'll write more tomorrow kay ? Anyway , I just came back from studying with Hakim . I knooow you mesti marah sebab I balik lambat . Sorry sayang . I concentrate sangat sampai lupa time . Kalau you ade , you mesti da call call I tadi . Don't worry sayang , Hakim hantar I balik . So I'm safe ! (: Okay lah sayang , I nak sleep . Love youuu !