♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

Sayang , today is exactly 100 days without you . HUNDRED DAYS sayang . You should know how bad I'm suffering without you . I dreamt about you yesterday . You surprised me by coming over to my house . I was so happy . I showed you my new room . We spent time together in my house . It was just a short dream . Sayang , I'm hoping that you will go out as soon as possible . I'm craving for you . I crave for you so much . My exam is next week . And I'm afraid I'm unable to do it . I need you here . I miss revising my exam with you . You would help me with all the notes . Remember those times sayang ? I want back all those times . I miss you so much sayang . I'll see you in 16 days . And it'll be our anniversary too .

Sayang , I think I should let you read this book : The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks I just finished watching the movie . And it is really very sad . I cried when I watch it because I was thinking of you . I summarise the cerita for you okay ? The girl is a millionaire . The guy is a country boy . They fell in love , so deep in love . But her parents never agree to it . She and her parents go far away and did not return . He write a letter to her every single day for a year . He wrote 365 letters for her but she never receive it, because her mum keep those letters away from her . She fell in love 7 years later with another man and got engaged . Then one day he saw her with another man . He didn't give up and did a house that he had promised for her . She got to know about the house and came by . His plan worked . They fell in love again . It was like the first time they met again . She finally choose him instead of the other man . But when they got older she lo...

Another dreadful week starting without you . Today is the starting of the 15 week . FIFTEEN WEEKS WITHOUT YOU . I never thought that this would happen to us . But somehow somewhere I knew that if you never change , this is what would happen to us . You should know why I said that . Think back on what I've been saying sayang . You chose this pathway for yourself. You choose to be in jail . You choose to live your life away from me . Yes sayang , you chose this . And if you are denying me right now , you are wrong . I'm right all along . Whenever you said , "Semua you betul , I semua salah ." It is SO true . If you had listened to me , I don't think you are sent in jail . So yes , you chose this path of life . Tak guna kalau you keluar but nothing change . If you want to step out of that place , promise yourself that you will change . Change for the sake of your mum . And if you really love me a lot , change for the sake of your love for me . ...

I didn't have time to write it down here in the blog . So I took a picture of it .

Hello sayang ! I think I'll be working another job for this time being . Tak confirm laaa . I just need some extra money for myself . Or maybe when you da keluar , we can enjoy together sayang ! My friend recommended me this job . It's quite interesting . If the next time I visit you , I will tell you alright ? Anyway sayang , I satu hari kat luar . I kat tempat kerja tu je sayang . Just like some meeting . Belum start lagi laaa . Then @ about 8:30 I terus pergi Chatterbox . Ingat tak tu tempat I kerja dulu ? Semua suruh I datang . I datang la jumpa semua orang . Semua rindu I . Haha ! And the best thing is I dapat makan FREE ! :D Kenyaaaaang ! Nanti bila you keluar , we go eat okay sayang ? Okay right now as per usual , I'll be staying up late to do my work . Assalamualaikum sayangku . Love you .

Hello sayang . Tidur late again . Anyway sayang , I know I'm bonded and all . But what do you think if I work some other thing also ? I can earn extra money right ? I feel like $300 per month macam tak cukup gitu . If I were to have extra money every month kan best ? Tell me about it okay ? I'll listen to you . Sayang , today while in the bus , I was shocked to see your silhouette on my bag . I can't be daydreaming . I really see your silhouette . The shape was like you looking down on the bag . It was scary . But it make me cry . Hais . . . Sayang kalau lepas you keluar and tak rasa menyesal , I don't know what I should say . If you do it again , I don't think I'll ever be with you again even if I love you so much . Da ngantoook ! Tata ! Love youuu .

It's midnight again sayang ! I've been staying up late to finish all my assignments . But I will never forget to write to you . Sayang , I guess you are right , I memang makin kurus . I realised today I cuma makan 3 roti and hotdogs . I tak rasa lapar lagi after that sayang . Maybe memang I tak biasa hidup tanpa you . Kebahagian I ni tak sama dengan kebahagian dulu I dengan you . Even if we fight , there were still a smile on my face because you were there with me . Right now I have nothing . No you in my life to make me do something right . I'm not trying to make you feel bad . But you know how hurt I feel the minute you knew that you are going in right ? You knew how angry I'll be . You knew how sad I'll be . You knew how much hurt I'll feel . But you did it . You already did it . What do you want me to feel sayang ? You want me to believe that you will change . I'm sorry but I want to see you change first then I'll believe that you...

Hello sayang . Today was as per normal . School and what not . I cried every time I think about what you said . I still can't get over you . Even if you did something so wrong , I still love you more . Is this was true love is ? I cried every night and day hoping that I can turn back time . Every time I ask myself , "Does he really love me?" "He sold away something that I bought for him, he did something that he promised not to do anymore, he made me trust him so much but ended up lying to me" Is that your love for me sayang ? Is that your definition of love ? I'm still hurt , a lot sayang . I forgive you , but it is really very hard to forget . I could have run , but I didn't . I could have hate you , but I didn't . I could have leave you , but I'll never do that . If I mean the world to you , why am I here crying ? I still love you a lot sayang .

Selamat tengah malam sayaaang ! Firstly I want to tell you that I PASSED MY PRACTICAL TEST ! See ? I need you to wish me luck . You are my good luck charm . Kalau I bilang you yang I belum tidur sebab nga uat kerja mesti you marah . You mesti suruh I rest kan sayang ? But I have to finish it . I miss your care towards me . I suka tau dengar nasihat2 you selalu . Memang kadang I tak dengar nasihat you tu semua . But right now since I tak dengar nasihat you , I rindu sangat . You bila keluar , you nak marah I pun takpe . I akan dengar semua ape you kate okay ? Ingat tak you kate , "Kalau da takle makan , takmo paksa ." That time I keluar dengan family I . And I tak habis makan . My parents tetap suruh habiskan . Then I kate , "Hilman kate kalau da takle makan , takmo pakse !" So I letak fork and spoon down . Hehe (: But just for today , I takle dengar kate you . Sorry . I need to stay up late tonight . Kalau you ade , you boleh teman I kan ? ...

Hello sayaaang ! I just came back from visiting you ! Bila on the way balik , I asyik senyum2 sendiri je tau ! You nye pasal lah ! You were asking about Amber ! I was blushing so much just now . And no , you are not going to get me ! Bluekkk ! I thought you forgot about that . I thought you really wanted to change . But I guess that part of you won't change huh ? Takpe2 . Takmo change . Hehe (: Sorry sayang sebulan tak tengok you . Semua busy la sayang . But not me . Your mum susah nak amek off . So I have to wait for her . But since right now we have the card , I am able to meet you alone ! Yayyy ! Next visit is going to be on the 16 Saturday . Our 5 Years 1 Month Anniversary , our 61 Month-sary . You sampai ingat I da lari . Haha ! You ingat I nak lari ? Seriously ? Dengan cinta I yang terbesar untuk you tetap you ingat I akan tinggalkan you ? Sampai hati you . :P Sayang , when you look at me and you you miss me , I melted . And then ...

Hello Sayang ! I finally watched The Avengers today ! Gerek tau movie tu ! CAPTAIN AMERICA IS HOT ! Robert Pattinson da jadi 4th in my list . 1st : YOU OF COURSE 2nd : Captain America (Chris Evans) 3rd : Channing Tatum 4th : Robert Pattinson Hehe (: Sayang tahu tak , today is already 90 days without you . In 10 more day , it will be 100 days without you . Even if I get to visit you , it doesn't feel the same without you here with me . I'm visiting you tomorrow ! Tak sabar tau ! Hehe (: Miss you sangat sangat . I da print kan you lagu Aishiteru yang you nak . Lagu tu untuk I ke atau orang lain ? Hehe (: Hopefully your mum tak cancel la besok . As always , I'm yours forever . I love you .

Hello sayang ! Yesterday I slept @ 4am . Hehe , main The Sims . I woke up @ 11 today . Satu hari I main The Sims . Hehe (: Then petang I cuci van . Right now I just finished doing my presentation . Kalau you on the phone dengan I sekarang , I confirm bilang you pasal group I . Bingit tau I sayang ! I message semua , tapi cuma 2 je reply . Yang lagi dua buat bodoh je ! Bingit tau kalau asyik I je yang nak kene bilang diorang buat benda je . Diorang maseh pakai pampes ke ?! Asyik nak kene suruh je . Nanti at last I yang tidur lambat , diorang semua sedap2 je kat katil tidur . I tahu kalau you pun you bingit kan ? You were always on my side if this happens . Without you , I macam asyik marah aje . You takde kat sini untuk make me calm . Sayang , I feel like bila you kat dalam , kita lagi rapat kan ? I don't know why . But I miss you and love you much more . Trust me sayang , my love for you is getting stronger . I love you .

I received you letter again today ! Hee (: I was jumping up and down tau ! Bila I bukak letter tu , I tak sabar sampai salah bukak . Haha !  The letter was funny sayang . "Badut Sarkas Kepala Dungga ." HAHAHAHAHAHA ! Baca surat tu sedih tapi bila nampak tu , I ketawe je . You never fail to make me laugh sayang . Even when you're inside , you still make me laugh . Sayang , I akan dengar kate2 you sayang . You takya risau okay ? Memang the first few weeks without you I tak jaga badan I semua . I was shock . So did my body . I never go through this before . So I fall sick . And I didn't take care of myself because I da biasa dengan you jaga I . But now sayang takmo worry kay ? Since you're gone , I selalu pikirkan you kalau I nak buat sesuatu . I mesti pikir whether you akan suka ke tak kalau I uat sesuatu tu . That's how much I love you sayang . I da kurus ? My family pun kate gitu sayang . Not only you . But they know what's happening ...

Hello Sayaaang ! I happyyy sangat ! Your mum text I tadi petang ! And she said that I'm going to visit you on the 21st ! It is this coming Monday ! Naseb baik Monday . Sebab Tuesday I ade test . Wish me luck kay sayang ? Selalu kalau you wish me luck , I mesti pass . You are always my good luck charm sayang . Sayang , you nak tahu benda tak ? Aqilah is like you . On the night before our anniversary , she saw me crying so bad . She would only sleep after I stop crying . Sweet kan sayang ? Macam you jugak . Believe it or not , I miss quarreling with you . And I tahu you pun sama kan ? I miss every single thing about you sayang . I'll see you soon ! Mmmuahhh !

First , I want to wish you HAPPY 5 YEARS ANNIVERSARY . You would have received my long letter writing about yesterday (15May) . Yes sayang , I was crying the whole night knowing that I won't be able to see you today . I slept at 2am thinking about you . And the next day I called the prison hopefully I am able to visit you . But unfortunately no . I need that visit card still . I sabar sayang . I duduk and fikir . Kadang ni semua ade hikmahnye . I went to school late . I skipped 2 hours of lesson . I went to school with the pink shades you bought for me . B/c my eyes were too swollen because of crying . I wore mint green shirt to school . I brought the Winnie the Pooh bear you gave me too . Today is our special day . I don't care what people think . I was thinking of going East Coast Park today . But I ended school @ 8pm . Kalau I pergi sana malam2 sorang2 lagi mesti you tak suka kan ? So I didn't go . I went home straight . Maybe today was dull . But ...

We've been together for ♥ 5 Y e a r s ♥ 6 0 M o n t h s ♥ 2 6 1 W e e k s ♥ 1 5 7 , 8 5 2 , 8 0 0 S e c o n d s ♥ 2 , 6 3 0 , 8 8 0 M i n u t e s ♥ 4 3 , 8 4 8 H o u r s That's how long my heart beats for you .

Sayang , I macam takde harapan that I dapat jumpa you besok . I called your mum but your mum tak angkat . I message your brother but there isn't any reply at all . I thought they would help me . But I guess I'm wrong . I'm sorry for saying that but I really want to see you . Less than three more hours and it will be our anniversary . Our 5 Years anniversary . And do I get to hear your voice ? No . And I don't think I will be able to see you too . But I'll be at your doorstep tomorrow . Even if your mum didn't answer my calls , I'll go to your doorstep . Maybe your mum can't call me . I gave up sayang . If I can't see you anymore , just send me letters okay sayang ? I've been listening to our song repeatedly . And yes , I've been crying . I miss you so much sayang . I'm hurt . I really am .

Sayang , today the only think that I kept on thinking of was OUR DAY . I cried too much today . I keep on thinking about what we could have done to save you . If you were here , we will be planning for our day . We will be planning how big we would want it to be . I want to sleep . But I can't . I keep on crying sayang . Why sayang ? Why must you do something that make us separated from each other ? We should be on the phone right now , laughing . We should be laying on the bed now trying to sleep with each other's voices . I should be saying "Bye, love you" and you should be replying , "Love you too" before we hang up . JUST about ONE single thing you did , ruin all the moments we could be having this whole year . Yes sayang . It hurts me a lot . But even if it hurts , I'm just thankful that I still could see you . I still love you sayang . I will always will love you . I'm still waiting for you after 3 long months . That is h...

Hello sayangku . Today is my dad's birthday and mothers' day . I'm so tired ! I cooked spaghetti today . There were loads of things to do . I sampai tercut fingernails I . Sakit sey sayang . My cousin just went home . We had our usual gathering . There were so much noise . Da malam lak tu . Goal sana goal sini . Tak habis2 . Anyway sayang , three more days to our day . Sayang , now I know how it feels like to be without my love . Now I know how it feels like to cry every night , but my love isn't there to comfort me . I never appreciate all the things you did for me . I'm sorry sayang . I will change once you are out . And please do the same for me . Please change okay sayang ? Love you sayang . See you soon ! Muuaaahhh !

It's Saturday and everyone is sick . I jangkit diorang la agaknye . I cleaned my room today . I was thinking this month nye gaji I want to buy picture frame . And put our photos on the wall . Mesti lawaaa nye . Anyway sayang , Zaim called me today . He ajak makan . But I takde duit . Then he said he blanja I . So I went . Hakim tak jadi sebab dia baru bangun tidur . I lepak with Zaim this afternoon . You trust I kan ? He's like a brother to me sayang . You know I love you right ? You know how much I love you right ? Even if you were to go in for so long , I will still be out here waiting for you . Trust me sayang . I love you more than you think . Tomorrow is mothers' day . Every one of my cousin will be at my house . Bilik I mesti messy ! Grrr ! Sayang , four more days to our day sayang . And I'll be seeing you on that day ! YAY ! See you soon sayang ! Love you .

Sayang , I'm still sick . Today I did nothing much . Main The Sims je satu hari sayang . Tak keluar pun . I didn't go to school again today . Badan I lemah sangat tadi pagi . Right now it's hard to sleep . Been thinking about you . It's 1:15am and I still can't sleep . When can I hear your voice again sayang ? I miss your voice . I miss you more .

I tak pergi school today . I'm really sick . I jumpa doctor today , and yes sayang , I da makan ubat . I tidur je satu hari sayang . Badan I lemah sangat . Kalau sayang ade , you mesti worried sangat . I miss your care towards me sayang . You selalu kate : "I sakit takpe . Kalau you yang sakit , I risau sangat." I want to hear that all over again . I miss you sayang . I miss you so so much . Bila sayang da keluar , we take care of each other okay ?

Sayang , I give up . I keep on calling your mum but she never pick up at all ! I called your mum 15 times since 6pm - 9pm . How can I visit you next week if she is like this ? Eh , eh . She just called ! I'm visiting youuu ! Yayyy ! Hopefully your mum tak mengamok la . Hehe (: Mana tahu dia macam you sayang . Okay okay . Da happy daaa ! Okay , da tu je . I macam nak sakit soon . Grrr ! Miss you sayang !

Sayang , yesterday I slept at 7pm ! Siang kan ? I was so tired . I slept all the way sampai besok . Macam babs la I ni . Ye laaa , mana tak tidur macam babs kan ? Kesayangan I takde , lebih baik tidur . At least bila I tidur , I cam dream of you and me . Sayang , I'm much better now . I'm able to focus on my studies . But with you around , I'm much much more focused . Sayang , I keep on talking about you with my friends . Talked about all the funny things that happened to us . Like that , it just feels like you are still here with me . Sayang , I still do cry . I know I'm strong enough to handle this . But even strong people has their weakness . And my weakness is you . Sayang , what if you do this again ? What do you want me to do ? What if you are in again for more than 1 year . What do you want me to do ? Do you still want me to wait for you . Sayang , I've suffered a lot sayang . But I still love you no matter what . But if you do thi...

Another day in school . It was raining today . Sejuk tau . Then I teringat you bilang I you terjatuh kat busstop . You jatuh terduduk . Hahahahahaha ! When I'm down and when I'm alone , you were there . So what can I do now without you ? Everytime I'm alone and no one to talk to , all I did was think of you . I'll be smiling alone , thinking about our times together . Sometimes I think maybe I deserve this . I had spent too much time with you . It was like 24 hours you and I . If I'm not with you , I'm on the phone with you . Maybe it's time for me to see the world . Because all that I see when you were around is only us . Only my world with you . Sayang , I miss you so much sayang .

Nyai birthday is today . So I went to rumah Nyai I to celebrate her birthday . Sayang , nothing really much I did . So bla bla bla semua sama je . I'm schooling tomorrow . Da nak pukul 1 pagi . Goodnight sayang ! LOOOVE YOU .

Hey sayang ! It's Saturdayyy ! But hey , a lot of work to do . Anyway I went Swensens today . Aqilah keep on saying : Kakak Fiqah , mint green ice cream ! Abang Man nye favourite ! She's cute la . We were suppose to watch Avengers today . But then it was TOTALLY SOLD OUT . Sad right ? Anyway sayang , I wonder why you mum don't pick up my calls . Does she hate me or something ? She will only pick up my call when I message her and told her what I was going to talk about . Susah tau nak visit you sekarang . If only I have the card . You pun satu ! Nama mak you sendiri pun tak tahu ! Selenge betul . Blueckkk ! Kay lah sayang . I'm going to watch movie with my brother . Miss you loads ! Muaahhh !

Last day of school for this week . Did really nothing much today . Sayang . I don't know whether I told you this before . But Aqilah drew you and "I love you , Abang Man" on a paper , and letak kat fridge . Cute kan dia sayang ?! I pun tak tahu ape nak kate sayang . Dia bawa I gi dapur then she showed me that . Nak nangis pun ade sayang . She has been so so sweet . She misses you sayang . She wants to see you . Sayang , I don't know what more to say . I've said everything already . I'm just waiting for another letter from you . I miss you sayang . I miss you SO MUCH !

Sayang ! I'm worried that I'm unable to see you on our anniversary . Hais . . . I really want to see you sayang . I don't think Aqilah can come too . I'm really sad la sayang . Too many rules to follow . Even my sister that is 6 years old pun needs permission . Sayang , I'm really bored . Hari2 study . Hari2 go school . Hari2 kat rumah . If you are here , even if I were to study , it will still be fun . I miss spending time with you sayang . Sayang , for almost 5 years you have been there for me . You've been supporting me , caring for me , loving me and much much more . Right now , without you here , it is just incomplete . Maybe I said that tons of time already . But I have to say again to show you how empty my life it without you . Maybe to others you are no use . But to me , without you I'm useless . I need you to gain back all my life . Please come back soon sayang . I miss you .

Back to school again . Nothing much to say sayang . But here's what I've been thinking . Sayang , I've been there for you since the start . I've been there for you since you declared your love towards me . You went into DB for a month , I'm still here waiting . You went into prison for 2 weeks , I'm still here waiting . And now you are in again for god knows how long , I will still be waiting . Sayang what more do you need from me ? What more do you want me to prove to you that I love you so much ? You shouted to me the very last fight we had . You wanted us to go our separate ways . You vent all your anger to me . Was it my fault sayang ? I keep on thinking about that day . It was my fault . It really was . I was ignoring you . I was away from you . And I know that all you need was my love . Since I've been so rude towards you , Cino just came out of your system . But you apologise . That's what I want back . The one that apologise...

Sayang ! Today Holiday . 1st May is Labour Day kan . Nothing much I did at home . My family including my grandparents went to Geylang aje . Beli baju , makan and jalan2 je . Then when I reach home I terus uat project I . That time bila I uat project I , the back of my neck sakit . I takle breathe betul . Bila my dad urut , sakit gila . And it makes me think about the time when you urutkan I . You kalau urutkan I , selalu sembuh sayang . I miss your massage . Nanti bila you keluar , you urutkan I lagi kay ? Hehe (: Tapi nanti dengan muscle you tu semua , seram I nak suruh you urut . Nanti check2 bone I terus patah . Okay lah sayang , I'm sleeping now . Da 12:33AM da . Love you .