♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

Sayang . My heart is weak now . I feel like crying . I'm flying off to Cambodia in 9 more hours . I'm worried . I'm afraid something might happen . I need you to tell me that it is going to be alright . Dang it ! I'm crying already . I just wanted one last visit from you . But unfortunately I didn't able to get it . Sayang , if anything were to happen , WHICH I HOPE DOESN'T . I want you to know this . You are my life . You are my soul . You are my everything . I have never hate you . Even though you did this to me , I have never hate you . I just can't hate you . I can't be mad at you for so long right ? Sayang , thank you for all the sacrifices you made for me . You are the only one that understands what I'm going through every single day . Thank you for all the love you have given me . You care for me every single day . You were too worried when I'm sick . You love me too much and I love you too . Remember our happy days okay sayang...

Hello baby ! Hehe (: Ish tak suka ah panggil you baby ! Common sangat ah . I put tak suka . Haha ! I came home late today . Right now it's 1:23am and I baru balik . Hakim , Zaim and Zul jumpa I for the last time before I go to Cambodia . Sweet lah diorang . So we all lepak je la . Oh , and sayang , my hair is a lot more better now . But right now I regret buying Britney Spears Perfume . It's not nice . Bila kat kedai bau sedap . Tapi takpelah , next month dapat duit , I'm buying another Britney spears . Hehe (: So , sayaaang , I miss you ! I miss you so much ! September is nearly over sayang . Cepat jugak timing kan ? Just few more months sayang . Just few more months and you are out . Be with me 24 hours bila you keluar kay sayang ? I miss you too much ! Toooooooo MUCH ! I love you .

SAYAAAAANG ! CRITICAAAL !!! I permed my hair and my hair is ruined !!! I don't likeee !!! I'm going back to the hair salon and redo it ! Omg , I swear I hate my hair right now . T.T I guess I'm rebonding it tomorrow . Sayang , how are you my love ? I'm leaving Singapore in 3 more days . Hais , seramnyeee . I miss you sayang . I miss you too much . Sayang , I really have no mood to do anything right now . My hair is killing me . I'm sorry , but I'll write more tomorrow . The ugliness of my hair is really unbearable . Love you sayang .

EVERYWHERE IS ACHING ! ): Badan I seriously is aching almost everywhere . Today I went to school for dance practice for Cambodia concert . And I swear to got my body is aching . And the bad thing is , I have another rehearsal tomorrow . I gave up dancing a long time ago . And doing it one more time , I'm unable to do it again . I thought I can . But no , I thought WRONG . I need to wake up at 7 plus tomorrow . But I just couldn't sleep . I guess I just stay up then . Sayang , I never dance in front of you before eh ? I know you asked me before . But dancing for you is really very paisey . Dancing I malu but NYANYI I tak malu . Hehe (: I'm going Cambodia in 4 more days sayang . I'm excited to go but at the same time I'm scared . I worry something might happen over there . And I worry about you too . If anything happen to you inside , I won't be able to get back to Singapore in time . Sayang , I will take care of myself at Cambodia . And I ne...

Hello sayangku . I went out with Abang Hidir today . Had lunch and watch a fighting movie . I reached home at 11:30 . Sayang , I guess today's post is going to be a little bit long . Just now Abang Hidir talked to me . In a way he is trying to tell me what I didn't see happening between both of us . So here goes , First is going to be about Zaim and Hakim . Sayang , I know you are jealous about them . I know when I told you that I am hanging out with them , you bingit . I know you wish that I will not hang out with them again . Even if they have been my bestfriends for almost 9 years , I know you still wish I stop contacting them . You are just afraid to say all that because you are afraid to lose me . You are afraid to say no because you don't want us to fight . You said yes is because you trust me and you know that I love you and only you . And lastly , you said yes because you think they came in my life first before you . So you think you don't ha...

Sayang !!! Right now it is 9:10pm . I just came back from dinner with my family . I'm still quarreling with my family . Even if just now I kinda talk to them and all , I still need to hear them apologise . It is not my fault , so I'm not doing anything to even say sorry . Kalau sayang kat sini , it will be much easier for me to handle something like this . I know I don't need their rubbish when I have you . I am very piss off everytime they team up on me . Da la , uatpe je I talk about them . Sayang , I'm leaving Singapore in 6 more days . Sayang doa2kan I kay ? Harap2 I sampai sana dengan selamat . I am going to miss you a lot . I will still write to you about everything that is going on over there . And of course if ade benda2 style2 , I will buy for you sayang . Sayang , banyak cousin I semua da nak kahwin . Bila agaknye eh kite nye turn ? Do you even want to be with me ? Okay lah sayang , I will miss you . I CINTAKAN YOU .

It's 2:10am right now . I just reached home actually . Please , don't be worried or angry okay ? First I went with your mum to jemputan at Tampines . The wedding decoration was PINK and white . It was really very beautiful ! And it was really a small world . Anak kawan your mum tu is Abang Hidir's friend that I lepak before . Hahaha ! And he is asking me to go with him tomorrow . GILAAA ! I go there TWO times ? NO WAY ! After that I meet Abang Hidir at Pasir Ris . Plan to lepak at Pasir Ris park . Then suddenly he terserempak with his so called "scandal" . And she ajak us to go to her birthday party . So we went . Tunjuk muka je for like 1-2 hours then we are off . Abang Hidir hantar me to my place and we lepak for 2 hours . I wasn't ready to go home yet . I was too bored . We talk about shits and Aisyah . So now I'm home . Sayang , today is 22 September . Well technically it's yesterday since right now it's after midnight ....

Hello sayaaang ! I went to Shan's birthday party at Botanic Garden today . It was fun . Macam lepak biasa with many many people ! I reached home at 9:30 today . Siang kaaan ?!!! Hehe (: I am a good girl . Sayang , when I'm there , I wasn't really in a mood to have fun . I was thinking about you . I was wondering what would we be doing at this point of time if you are not in jail . I was wondering whether would I make this much friends ? Would I even get this close to many people ? Would I even go some other country with my friends ? Since you were gone , I tried to feel that I belong somewhere . I go for any opportunities that come . And from there I make a lot of friends and learn many new things . I wasn't this kind of  person . Because you were there for me and I didn't need anyone else but you . So there is no need for me to make friends . I was an anti-social until you were gone . One day I will invite you to school to s...

I don't know what hits me today . But I feel so emotional today . I watched 2 love movies . After that I start thinking about you . I locked myself in my room and cry and cry . And then I realised that today it's 20th September - 7 months without you . I did nothing today . Stayed at home as usual . Tomorrow I might probably go to my friend's birthday party . Sayang , have you ever think who is your first love ? I mean the real real first love . Okay stupid question . Don't answer that . I don't know why , but when I think about it , you are my first love . Even after 12 exes and 3 guys after you , you are still and forever my first love . I need you to know something sayang . Ahn , Azrai and Apiz are my mistake . I shouldn't have hurt you . I shouldn't have cheated on you . People say choose the guy that I cheated with . Because if I love you so much I shouldn't cheat on you . But sayang , every night whenever I on the phone with the...

It's 1:14am right now . Since holiday is here , I've been sleeping very late . Anyway , I dreamed about you this morning . I don't really understood the dream . Just hope that it is not true . Here is the dream : You were finally out . I hugged you tightly and cried . You cried too . The next thing I knew was Jommink . Than after that you texted your friends to meet you . I was frustrated . You didn't even want to spend time with me at all ??? You brought me along to see your friends but I ignored you all the way . You still have no clue why I'm angry . I was sitting beside you when you were checking your iPhone . Then I saw your wallpaper . I snatch you phone and saw that your wallpaper was a picture of you with the name "Aain" at the side of your picture . I threw your phone and asked you who the hell is "Aain" . You terdiam . I went so crazy and started throwing everything I could touch . I shouted to you : "I'VE WAITED FOR Y...

Right now it's 3:02am . So technically it's already 19 September . I just can't sleep sayang . I did nothing today other than watching many TV series . Since I woke up and till now . I have been in my room all day long . Well . . . except when I need to hantar surat you tu je la . 7 months without you is almost here . I thought that I would eventually be better after a few months . But I was wrong . I still yearn too much for you . I just wish that one day when I wake up , I'm in your arms again . Looking at you in the morning will always make my day . I know I have to wait for 5 more months . For you it will be quick . But for me , it's still too long . Hais . . . Think before you do anything stupid ever again . I CINTAKAN YOU .

ANOTHER LETTER IS HERE ! :D I had a feeling that your letter should be here today . Hehe ! Okay2 , I nak reply to that letter . I'm alright right now sayang . I wonder what exactly you did inside . Hmmm . . . Yang pasal that previous visit , it's alright sayang . I maafkan you . Sayang , you takmo worried sangat kay pasal I . I won't hurt myself ever again . I will be strong to get through with all this . I know that you will be with me no matter what happened . Yes , you have to trust me that I DO NOT have any other guy other than you . Tadi Aqilah saw the letter and she said , "I see my name ! Tu , tu !" Haha ! Then I read to her what you said about her . You nak I bilang you semua problem I ? Betul ke ? You won't think it's immature anymore ? You pun prefer sleeping so that you can dream about me ? REALLY ? Ye laaa , kite kan da macam babs . Hehe (: BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ??? HAHAHAHA ! You jadi "beast" die ? Nanti jommink habis...

HAPPY 5 YEARS 4 MONTHSARY ! Another month has pass without you sayang . I'll be celebrating another 5 more monthsary without you . But whatever it is , I never regret the day I met you . Today was bonding camp again . Nothing much we did today . Just a quick briefing and off I went home . Malam I meet Abang Hidir . Lepak dengan die skejap je , then I go home . He just wanna talk about Aisyah and eat dinner then go home . Nothing much actually . I have one hour left before our day is over . So I'll read the diary that I've been doing for you . Even if it hurts too much , I know that you will be back again one day . I LOVE YOU SO SO SOOO MUCH !

Hello sayang ! Camp today was FUN ! I really enjoyed myself . But the bad thing was I have to bring home a huge plastic bags . Those bags are filled with baju2 donation to the Cambodia peeps . Naseb my father fetch me from the busstop . Kalau tak sekarang tangan I patah . Hehe (: I have to prepare for camp by next week . So that there is no need for me to kelam kabut when the day comes . In like about 3 more hours is going to be our 5 years 4 monthsary . And of course , again , celebrating alone . I'm going to read the letters that I've given you since February tonight . So I can feel close to you once again . Sayang , according to psychologist , when a person have a hard time sleeping at night , it is because someone is dreaming about that him . I had a tough time sleeping last 3 days (13 September) . Did you dream about me sayang ? Hehe (: I CINTAKAN YOU !

THE LAST DAY OF ATTACHMENT ! HOOORAYYY ! IT FINALLY ENDED ! Oh , and HI SAYANGKU . Hehe (: And guess what ? I did two shifts today for fun . Haha ! Seriously boring gilerrr . I pun tak penat . I was at the ward for 16 hours ! Tapi bila petang2 I slack je ah . Kawan2 ITE semua gerek . Fazri and Miera are the most gerek . Haha ! Should tell you more about them soon . Yang satu ni name Hidayat . Dia seriously perangai macam budak kecik . Tapi kalau die takde , confirm attachment I boring . Dia panggil I "Afiqah De Livia" . I pun tak tahu kenape . So anyway, bonding camp tomorrow . It's for the ones that are going to Cambodia . Tomorrow is like getting to know all the people that are going . That is why it's call "bonding" camp . Penat and malas pulak nak pergi sekolah besok . Hais . . . I CINTAKAN YOU !

Hi sayang ! I'm home right now ! It's 5:32pm . I'm going to doze off soon . I'm too tired . Second last day of attachment ! I received a B+ for my attachment . That is already great enough ! Yeepiee ! Tomorrow confirm slack to the max ! Sayang , I just finish watching a very sad video . A guy was killed because he was protecting his friends . He was a fighter . But he was stabbed and was killed . The video that I just watched was uploaded my his girlf . The guy died 2 days before their 2 years anniversary . I cried watching that video . I can literally feel what she's feeling . The hurt, the pain, the suffering. Sayang , do you now know why you need to stop doing what you were doing ? That video could be uploaded by me with all our pictures instead . I don't want that to happen . I NEVER WANT THAT . So please , change for me . Allah bila2 boleh amek nyawa kite sayang . And I'm still not ready to lose the one I really love . I'm goin...

Sayang ! I went straight home today . No lepak , no wasting of time outside . Good girl kan I sayang ? Hehe (: Tomorrow I morning shift . Mestilah balik straight ! Haha ! Today was as per usual . Nothing much happened . Tomorrow will be my second last day of attachment baybeh ! Baru then I boleh pekik TGIF !!! (Thank god it's FRIDAY !) Okay , dah dah . Sayang , what should I say eh ? Hmmm . . . Oh yeahhh ! Where is your letters ? ): I belum dapat lagi . Da nak masuk 3 weeks tapi belum dapat . Anyway , I'm still reading back all the letters that I've given you . Time flies quite fast when I read that letter . It's like 7 months has passed and you have 5 more months to go . You will miss your birthday tau sayang . Haha ! But we'll celebrate once we are back together in each other's arms again . I CINTAKAN YOU .

Right now it's 12:50am and I still have a lot of things to be done ! But no matter what , you come FIRST ! Today I woke up early just to make-up for Aqilah for her Halloween celebration in school . The make-up is okay . But it's quite scary for her . One day I will show you okay sayang ? After that I went straight to attachment . Makin lama I rase I ITE student sey ! I hang out dengan semua budak ITE . Diorang lagi gerek ah dari budak poly . Sebab  budak poly diorang pemalas to the max . Lagi2 budak China . Seriously bingit sey ! After attachment I went to meet Hakim . He was waiting for me at the multi-purpose hall kat blakang rumah I . He wanted to know what was happening to me . Sebab my twitter asyik marah2 je . I'm so glad my bestfriends are always there for me . After that Hakim has to go and I meet up with Zul and Zaim at Mac . We ate our supper and Zul suddenly dienye wire da terbalik . Dia terus start dengan gila2 die . Like seriously I can...

I VISITED YOU TODAYYY ! I was so excited to see you sayang ! I'm a little bit tired but I can manage . I don't care about anything when I'm going to see my sayaaang ! (: So sayang , how was my braces ? Hehe . Next time I'm going to change it to your colour ! Sayang , I felt better telling you about what I've been going through . Because all I needed to hear was your advise for me sayang . Sayang , I know you suffer more than me . And I know you are strong . I'm not sayang . I cry every chance I got . Sometimes I didn't know that I'm crying until I felt tears running down my cheeks . I miss you every single day sayang . Anyway , you and your dreams I have to hear it when you go out ! Semalam you mimpi pasal I eh ? Ade tanda2 yang I akan visit you la tu . I wish I could feel you . But all we could do is feel the glass . You make me happy today sayang . I cannot imagine my whole life without you . I realised that you never take my eyes of...

I can't wait to see you tomorrow ! I have a lot of things to tell you . Sayang , I need you so badly right now . My brother started the fight tadi petang bila on the way to rumah cousin I . Dia tak tahu ape nga terjadi and dia nak tuduh2 sembarang je . I bingit and marah balik ah . My dad suruh stop . And said that I bebual macam gangster . So I kene marah sebab bebual macam gangster ? Abey yang banag I tuduh2 I sembarang tu takde pape ah ? So I kate ah yang semua benda yang I tak salah , I tetap salah ah . My brother then start saying yang I semua betul . I tak kate ape2 pun . He is the one started saying that I tak tahu kemas bilik . When all of the time I yang kemas and NEVER Fatin . My mum then started to side my brother . Saying that I memang selalu macam gini . She keep on saying , "Shut Up" to me . My father knows both are at wrong but my mum always think I'm the only one who is wrong . I terus pusing pelan2 and hide and cried . I cannot stop...

Hey sayang . I just came back home from the airport . My cousin going overseas to study . Sayang , tadi petang I went to East Coast Park . I had my First Aid training kat sana . Well , as per usual I cried going there . Thinking about our first time meeting at that place always bring me to tears . It's hard going there . I've been avoiding that place . But since it's compulsory , I had to . Sayang , why does night time feels really down ? It's like every night I would just stare blankly and started crying about you . Every night I wish I could hear your voice before I sleep . But what more can I ask for when I know that it's impossible ? The fastest way to make me cry is thinking about you leaving me alone here . See ? I'm crying now . You can tell me to stop crying but I can never stop . 2 more days till I see you sayang . I hope you are alright . I CINTAKAN YOU .

I can handle a day without you . I can still be okay a week without you . I'll become crazy when we didn't meet for a month . And today , I've been without you for exactly 200 days . Guess how crazy I am sayang . I don't know how strong I am until being strong is the only choice I have . Sayang , I'm doing just fine outside . But what about you ? How are you ? I'm worried every single night thinking about you . I know you are extra worried . But trust me , you are all I think about . Sayang , just a question kay sayang ? Will you leave me one day because you don't want me to get hurt again ? I'm afraid that one day you would . Just please , leaving me will be the worst thing ever . Our love is getting stronger each day . I just need you to believe in it okay ? "Hidup , Mati , Hilman + Afiqah" Remember you said that ? Keep that with you and you will find faith in our love . I LOVE YOU SAYANG . I LO...

SAYAAANG ! Hee (: I went straight home today ! Today I afternoon shift . I end at 9pm . I just wished you could send me home . Today I lepak gilerrr ! Kat ward da macam nothing to do . I dengan budak2 ITE semua bebual merepek je . Lagi sikit kene marah dengan Staff Nurse . Sayang , I know I would sound crazy . But I called your phone tadi . I just miss clicking on your name and call you . I miss you too much sayang ! OMG ! I almost forget ! Tadi pagi bila I nga siap2 untuk gi kerja , I terdengar Aqilah mengigau . She said in her sleep , "I nak dengan Abang Man ." I stopped and turn around . SHE WAS REALLY DREAMING ABOUT YOU . HAHAHAHAHAHA ! I CINTAKAN YOU . Okay , now Aqilah will start typing . "i make a card and it said happy hari raya from me but it said happy hary raya and i have a dreams i tink is 1 and my sister kakak fatin and my brother jash want to pokol me and i also miss you"

Hello sayaaang ! I just came back home from main bunga api with Zaim , Hakim and Zul . Sorry sayang I reached home at 1am . Today was attachment day again . Nothing much happened during attachment . Sayang , I miss you so much sayang . Lagi 5 more days sayang . Just 5 more days left till I see you . I can't wait ! When can I hold you again ? When can I feel you again ? I miss you too much sayang . I'm sorry if I were to make you angry or sad inside . I'm so sorry . I love you sayang . Trust me . No one can ever replace you . I CINTAKAN YOU .

Sayang , another daaay ! I go to your house today just to see your mum . Rindu die laaa . Then I saw Madan dengan matair die kat rumah . Wahlauuu , matair Madan da rapat sey dengan your mum . Baru berape bulan . Haha ! And she called me KAKAK ! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ?!!! KAKAK ?!!! She's innocent looking la . But I felt a bit off . Because she's like showing off that she is so close to your family . She even salam your dad . Where can salam oneee ! Okay , I'm going insaneee . As usual your dad face is poker face . Haha ! Seriously , stop it sey calling me KAKAK ! I left your house at 8:30pm . Then sat at out usual place . I immediately cried . I sat on your place instead of mine . I swear it felt like you were there telling me to go home . It was freaky . See how much I miss you . I'm meeting you in 6 more days . Ya allah , please make the days fly fast ! I CINTAKAN YOU .

Sayangkuuu ! Da pun bulan September . And right now it's the starting week of week 29 . Another month without you . Another 30 days without you . Another month-sary celebrating without you . Everything just without you . I've book face-to-face visit on the 10th of September . And I'm meeting you aloneee ! Hehe (: We are going to talk merepek meraban timeee ! Hehe (: I miss having those times with you . Walaupun 20 minutes , I don't care . Imma make it worth ! I just came back home from meeting Abang Hidir . He fetch me from hospital and teman me go out and buy some stuffs . Since the incident yesterday , he is scared to make me go home alone . And I am so scared to go home alone too . Seriously , I wanted to cry so badly . And I'll tell you the incident when I meet you on the 10th . I don't want to write in this letter . It's better talking to you . Sayang , reading the messages every single day hurts me . But I'm not going to be ma...

I'm crying right now . I don't care I'm going to spill everything out right now . I was crying the whole night yesterday . Why ? Because I was thinking a lot about you . And the most thing that I thought about was our last fight . Why must that happen sayang ? I read our messages last night . And all I can do was cry . Because I love you too much . I love you more than you can ever imagine ! And I'm scared now . I'm really scared . I'll tell you once when I visit you soon . It's about apek2 . I never get till like that ever ! And when you are not here with me , I selalu kene kacau ! I just came back from Raya with my friends . I'm tired . And all I do now is cry , cry and cry . When will you be back here with me ? I need you back . I LOVE YOU . I MISS YOU . I NEED YOU .

Sayaaaaaang ! I just finished my open house . My friends came . But semua laki . Yang pompan semua takle . The ones that came were Hakim, Zul, Muhd and Nabil . I am so angry with Zaim ! He did not even answer my calls at all !!! Birthday dia is in 3 more days and I WILL NOT WISH HIM ! Hmph ! Today is the first day of September . 194 days without you already . Wow , everyday I feel really betrayed . I'm not gonna start anything about that . I'm just going to not say it . Hais . . . I love you , I forgive you , But to forget about it , I can never do it . I'm sorry .