♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

It was a normal day . I was just excited to see him . It was almost noon when I reached his place . It all started to turn around when I saw a message from his friend . : Aku cuba tanye kay ? Man stop sudah la . And the FIRST thing that popped into my head was - DRUG . And I was right . He confessed after I asked him a lot of times . I cried when he wasn't looking . But he knew . Of course he knew ! I can't handle the pain anymore . I went out of his house and smoke and just smoke . Stick after stick . I let out all my anger , pain , everything . Then he came and sat beside me . Kept on saying sorry . Just sorry . I didn't say a thing . Not even a word . I feel like leaving him (Yes , a present tense .) But I know I can't live w/o him . I just wanna leave being suffocated . I left his house - hoping he would run after me . Note: He stopped running after me since he was released . Nothing . Not even a call . I sat down at our usual place , ...

His LAST long message before he went in . "Syg,i akn jaga u ngn baik dn penuh ngn kasih syg yg ikhlas trhadap u..u,terima kasih kerana slama ni u syg dn jaga i dgn baik dn ikhlas..syg bnyk berkorban untuk i..syg,skg i pula ingin korban segalanya untuk u..i syg dn cintakn u..u,maafkn smua kesalahan i slama ni u..i benar2 minta maaf..syg,i sedih teringtkn bila i uat u sedih dn menangis disebabkn i..maafkn i u..i sygkn u sorang je u.." Where is that guy that I know ? RIght now he blames me for everything . Even if I were to cry at night , he don't care . He just stop caring . Right now , it takes EVERYTHING in me not to call him .

Maybe this is it ? I really do not know what to do now . All I can do now is hope that one day you realise how much I love you . I couldn't forgive you because I have a reason to do so . You've been apologising for the SAME mistake over and over again . And I'm stupid anough to forgive you every single time . But now , I can't . No more . When I ask you to leave me for a week , I hear from your voice that you really do not want it . I've known you for too long to know you well enough . But I need to leave you . I have to . I'm not going to contact you for a week . I'll get back to you by next Thursday . But that depends on you . I'm not asking for much . I'm just asking for your real love . For that Hilman that I once really fall in love with . That Hilman who I can see in his eyes that he is sincere .

Yesterday night was the real confession night . I never thought I would make you cry again . And I never meant it to be that way . I love you and I can never replace you . I don't want to tell you because I know how things would turned out . I cried because I know you are hating me . And I know how much you are hurt inside . I feel like just running to you that night and hug you . I'm sorry for thinking about that other guy . Yes , I know he treat me the way I wanted a guy to treat me . But you are not him and all I want is you . I should not have force you into anything . I should have just keep my mouth shut and not hurt you . But you keep on wanting to know what is going on . And right now you are okay . You act like as if nothing happened yesterday . Because even I'm like this , you love me and you can't leave me . I am so sorry for hurting you . Nothing I do can take those words I say yesterday . Only time can heal . And I know there are stil...

Sayang , I want you to read this when you wake up . And please , let me know your reply . Or at least tell me what you really wanna tell me okay ? Here goes . I love you . I truly do love you . Even words can't describe how I really love you . You never once bought me flowers , you never once look me in the eye for a long time and tell me how much you love me , you never once bring me to a surprise , you never once look at me like how I look at you and much more . Those are the things I want to see from a guy . But even if you never once done it , my love is never less . I cried thinking about what I did to you . I am incredibly sorry for what I did . I played with you . I cheated you with some other guys . The worst that I did was to share my love for you with some other guy . But you stayed . You still stay because you know deeply that my love for you is eternal . I cannot imagine my life without you . You changed me . And I'm thankful for that . You made me become so...

HAPPY 5 YEARS 9 MONTHS SAYAAAAAAAANG ! Sayang , do you realise that our relationship is going to reach 6 years soon ? And it seems like it was just yesterday we met at ECP . Did you ever think that we are going to even last this long ? I guess I already found my jodoh when I was only 13 . Are you really mine sayang ? After you keluar, what are you plan for us ? What are you going to do to make sure that we are never separated ? Are you going to ruin it again by going into prison ? Or are you going to marry me one day ? Marrying is a HUGE sacrifice tau sayang . I really would want to marry you . But what about you ? Are you even ready ? Think about it . Love you !

MY FIRST PAPER IS DONEEE ! And you know what ? It was quite managable !!! I simply love that paper . Well, as always, I wore the CINO bracelet and your necklace for luck . I kissed the ring on your necklace before I do the paper . And I guess your luck gave me luck . Hehe . My next paper is in 4 more days . And it is my HATEST SUBJECT - Pharmacology . For today, I'm just going to rest for awhile and start studying tomorrow. Otak boleh pecah sey sayang . Love you .