♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

I baca blog ni after eu are so fed-up with me. I cried , because reading those days eu told me that eu love me, seems fake. And i know eu are lying . eu, there is no need for eu to lie to me anymore . If eu still want the girl, take her. eu still belom ilangkan nama dier. why ? its because deep down, eu love her and eu cannot forget her . I don't wanna talk much. But i need this from eu. Honesty. That all .

Sayang , today eu are TOO much . I trust you will be there for me . and you told me there is no need for me to be worried about you . tapi i am ! i know you have your friends . but they are like you . how can i let eu be when theres no one to stop you from taking those pills, achohol and pins . i cant let you be like that . please eu , change !!! i trust you when you say "Hidup Mati,Hilman Afiqah."

gonna be a LONG post .. im both happy and MAD !! why ? let see .. today aku jumpa dier kat umah dier .. mak dier masih ader kat umah ,, so we were like crazy over the lenses .. he kept on wanting to open it and wear it .. irritating kan ? bla bla bla .. then his mom and jat off to geylang ,, so only left me ,, him ,, ramadhan at home .. im on his bed talking about some stuff and he kept on getting messages .. he told me its ecal asking him to meet him tonight lepak2 .. so ,, ii believe him luhs .. bcoz da lama tk gdoh psl pompan laiin .. guess what ? when he went to bathe ,, i took his hp .. this is what i saw .. INBOX : ecal : ko nk stim tk nari ? ecal : man malam ko jumpa aku tk ? kter stim sama2 . SENT ITEMS : him : nk him : aku aru bangun tdo uhs .. so ,, in order : ecal : man malam ko jumpa aku tk ? kter stim sama2 . him : aku aru bangun tdo uhs .. ecal : ko nk stim tk nari ? him : nk i put back down the phone when i heard him calling me from the toilet .. he told me to get his ph...

FUCK LUH !! im bloody BLOODY pissed off with him !! no more wanna care about eu !! i gave eu chance but what did eu do ? eu did it again .. eu FUCKING DAMN ASS HOLE !! tomoro wanna meet me huh ? nah !! i turned eu down .. dont ask why !! perangai da mcm KEPALA BUTO ,, siape nk jumpa kan ? dont tell me why i dont wanna listen to eu anymore .. wah ,, eu boleh uat ape2 eu suke ,, abeh ii tkle uh ? eu ikot rules mana huhs ? rules BAPAK KAU uh tuu !! and yeah ,, for eu friends are alot more important huh .. eu know what ? now i have friends who care alot for me than eu do .. maybe i make a wrong decision before and im gonna change it !! okay ,, friends are more important to me .. today ,, if eu take it dont tell me eu love me or what !! i will FUCKING dont care and ii dont even wanna believe whatever eu are saying !! prove it to me first b4 eu say it .. tkmo nk step eu mabok and then eu tell me everything .. ehk ,, orang mabuk pun boleh pikir luhs .. that time ii mabuk ii still could thin...

ive always listen to eu .. ii will always do it straight away when eu told me to .. ALWAYS !! but why cant eu ? why cant eu just listen to me? eu would say okay ,, but sonner or later eu will do it again !! ii thought eu quit it already !! but eu have not !! ii am angry at eu just now !! eu know ur mistake !! there is no need for eu to say "abe nk mngamok!" ii marah because ii care !! ii dont want eu to go back to ur past !! ii hold back my tears hearing that .. ii know eu heard my breathing ,, its loud isn't it ? eu looked at me when eu heard the loudest one .. eu stared at me long enough to realise im crying inside .. of coz i looked down .. ii dont want eu to see my tears in my eyes .. ii know that eu know that you are wrong .. if eu are not ,, eu will try to show that eu are not in the wrong .. ii know eu too well .. yeah ,, eu could just lie to me that eu wont take it .. eu told Prashanth that eu just gonna accompany them .. im not born yesterday luhs !! ii know eu...

i just called him just now .. he really wierd .. me : hello ? eu ,, eu masih kat luar ? him : a'a ,, eu ,, i sayang eu tau !! me : i sayangg eu too ,, pkol brape eu nk alek ? him : i vey very love love you so much !! me : i love eu too ,, pkol brape eu nk alek ni ? him : skejap lagi .. eu? me : ye .. ? him : ii saaaaayaaangg eu !! me : i sayang eu too ,, bsok eu keje kan ? him : ye me : abeh tk baleq ? cepat baleq luhs .. him : okay2 .. me : nari tdo pkol brape ? him : lmbt luhs ,, sayang tunggu i kan ? me : ye .. ii tunggu ,, cepat tau alek .. him : ye sayang .. i sayang euu !! me : eu da knape? k luhs ,, bye .. him : i sayang eu !! bye SAYANG !! LOL ? ala ,, skejap je .. malam ni mesti laiin ..

sayangg !! thanks for the outiingg !! ii swear ii LOVE iit SO SO MUCH !! iit iis reaLLy dhe beSt day of my LYFE !! ii LOVE eu so MUCH !!

sayangg. i dont wanna lose you. i dont wanna break up. i dont want to even leave eu alone. eu had a dream of me going overseas leaving eu. and eu told me it was a very bad dream. i was touched. is it really a bad dream for eu? and it mean eu dont wanna lose me too. i love hearing all ur love towards me. and now im used to fighting and i never even care when we are fighting. eu will never hear me cry ever again. let me be hurt and not letting eu know. i cried everynight thinking about whether will eu ever leave me. i hope you wouldn't. trust me when i say i love you sayang... ILOVEYOU!

eu, eu inside lagi... and eu dont know ho i am here... thinking bout eu is what i do for the past 4 days. dont eu miss me inside? i wrote something but i hope eu sa it soon. eu. i love eu and will always be with eu... i will never leave eu at all! i PROMISE! i miss eu and i love eu SAYAANGGG!!!

it was really a HUGE quarrel yesterday. although he promise we wil never break, he seems lik he doesn't care anymore. he came to my place while im sick. under the void deck of coz! gave him his memory card back. i felt so MUCH MUCH better when i see him. he asked me whether i could stay awhile, obviously i could eventhough i couldn't. we laugh like normal... and yeah he owe me 2 kisses! and i got it! :D took some pictures. then he saw my slash on my wrist. this is what exactly he say... him: ape ni? me: nothin... him: lain kali uat banyak2 sampai kat muka skali. aku da naik penat care pasal kau tapi kau masih degil. teman him till bus stop. and then he told me to go home bcoz i look sick. kissed him good bye and went home. while walking home, he sent me a message saying "I Love You Sweetie" ILOOVEHIMTOO :)

i sayangg eu tau hilman! sentiasa sayang euu... da lama i tk update this blog of us. but hey... we have fun then righting all those things here. :) VIDEOS!!!

eu. are eu sure about this break up? are we really over? i love eu so much and ini yang i dapat? eu. just answer this one question. do eu love me? thats all i need to know. for how ong i suffer thinking whether eu love me onot is so long. eu. i didn't slash my hand to show eu so that eu rase kesian. NO! i did that because it is my fault i ruin this relationship. and thats my punishment. maybe when eu get to see this blog. im gone. i swear i love eu. i tkkn replace eu. please trust me. tkmo cari pompan laen please. i need eu more than anyone else. please at least come back to me. I LOVE YOU. here's the story ,, okae. hear goes... take in a big long breath. try not to cry when eu post this Fiqa,, my left hand getting better but still a bit weak. i gotta post somethingg coz i just cant sleep. well... me and cino kat phone not talking bcoz i just wake up. then dier suro talk. i said uh i just bngn tdo. then he ungkit alek,, he said dier penat2 pon dulu he talk mcm biasa. so i was l...

cino. the break up is only a joke. eu think its funny asking for break up just like that? everyday we meet, we seems so happy. but on the phone. it was like hell! it is just because i didn't see ur face while im talking to eu, it doesn't mean eu can make jokes that really hurt me and make me cry on the phone. and the next day eu can easily say it is just a joke. fine, it is just a joke. but eu didnt know how bad it hurts for hearing all those thing eu said. sometime eu ask for sex i rejected, eu know why? it is because, eu make me hurt so badly and eu could just happily said that eu want to have sex! hello? who eu think i am? a doll on a street? come on man! and the next minute eu gonna say " eu tk sayang i uh ". FYI EU ARE THE ONE WHO TK SAYANG I! ask urself first luh guy. okae. maybe im the first gurl eu ever listen and did those things that i ask eu to do so. but it doesnt mean that eu love me. for eu is sayang izzit? maybe for ur case it is, but for me NO! e...

sayang... i thaught kiter tkkn sampai 1 year tau. its unbelievable. dengan i nye prangai... and eu nye prangai jgak... but hey... a new year. a new beginning. im gonna change for eu. i love eu so much!

right now. right this minute. right this second. im crying bout eu. i slalu suka pikir neagative. eu. i tk nk jadi mcm ex eu. i tk nk eu tinggalkn i mcm eu tinggalkn diorang smua. i betul2 sayangkn eu. i nk eu ngn i selamanya. i nk ngn eu! eu. ubah perangai eu sikit luhs pls. last week, 2 kali eu minta break. i tk tau betul ke tk. but please dont do it again. I LOVE EU SO SO MUCH!

eu asking me to hate eu. eu say this: tengok kat mirror tu dulu then tell me whether eu ngn i suit tk. SYIOK SENDIRI! EHK KLAO MACAM GINI JE... KITER TKKN KAHWIN LUHS. ADER HATI NK KAHWIN NGAN AKU KONON. LUPAKAN JE LUHS! i tkkn lupakan tau. walaupun how hard my heart to accept that. i will try to calm down. biar i sabar sampai i mati.. i da tk nk bunuh diri lagi. i da tk nk. our relationship still goes on. tapi klao jodoh da tk de... i sanggup terima keyakinan. sayangku yang ku sayang seumur hidupku... HILMAN... aku tak akan lepaskn kau!

sayang. eu really pissed me off. but i never hate eu. not once not ever, eventhough i say tht i do. no one have a perfect relationship. i want to. but with eu, i feel its PERFECT. ive been with eu nearly 1 year. people thaught its long. for me its not. it is just like 1 day. i need more time with you. i just hope eu wanted to. i want eu to love me like the way i do. i want eu to think bout me like how i always think bout eu. i love eu so much to let eu go. if eu think im the gurl eu say "i tkkn tinggalkn eu" but one day eu think i will;; IM FUCKING NOT THAT KINDA GURL!

yesterday i told cino bout the guys yang have a crush on me. he went all crazy and said that i better off with them and forget bout him. what is FUCKING wrong with him? i did not even do a thing. i did not even know them.he start his perangai. and his perangai sounded exactly like he breaking up with me. it is damn obvious he dun want me anymore. i didnt even think and told him on the phone this;; "eu nk kate ape lagi? cepat luhh im going and dun ever cari i!" "eu nk pegi ane?" "no need for eu to know since eu dont even care bout me." i just hang up the phone. i took everything i need and go out taking key and my brother's phone. i message cino;; "im out. never cari i." he reply: "call i" "for what? eu dun even care." "call i please... im begging eu lika beggar" "i had enough of being hurt! just let me go!." i was already next to "shell station" it was 2a.m.he reply: "EVERYTIME kiter gadu...

ingat tk hari ni? i ngan eu gdoh? da one week kiter gadoh. and it is so not because of me! never because of me! eu suka uat joke yang menyakitkn hati i! i sabar eu. yela. eu smua betul i smua salah pe. i tawu eu perfect... tk ya bilangg. nothing i do is ever right! i hate myself. when eu kater i salah, i will just hurt myself psl eu nye hati sakit psl i pe. i always thaught liddat. i tried to be like eu. tk kesah psl i; never want to confess u are wrong.; and never LOVE me. i noe you've been lying to me all this while. i noe we are nearly one year. kalao eu masih ngn i psl janji kiter tu uat per? means eu tk ikhlas ngn i kan? am i stupid?!

hello eu! for like the past few days. ive always have a smile on my face. kiter da tk gadoh lagi. can we stay like this forever. i really love it. I LOVE EU MY SAYANGG!!!

skola i sekarang da tk ckp nama eu lagii. since i da blang diorang kiter da break. haha... fake one of coz! skola diam sikit... klao tk sane cino sini cino... tk habis2...

after skool ade test. after that jumpe eu. sial luhs. i jumpe eu pnat2 eu uat prangai sial! ehk. laen kali malas luh klao eu cm tu je. pnat2 i gi sane sial. dari skola lakk tuu. EGO FUCKER! DA LA!!!

eu. when eu nangis kat i patang tadi. i felt like i tkkn uat problem lagi. eu are the one. i sayangkn eu so much! tapi tolong tkmo simpan2 benda please. im ur gurlfren. i NEED to noe sayangg. eu. i really tkle tengok eu nangis. eu akn uat i nangis jgak. i really love eu sayangg. do not worry okae? i slalu uat prangai pasal eu mcam tk sayangg i. but now i knoe eu sayangg i. theres no nid for me to be puzzled. EU. I SAYANGG YOU SO SO MUCH!!! iloveyou!!!

i fucking love u tapi u tk kesa. everyday i tk pena lupa nk kate i sayang eu. skarang sape yang sayang sape? nothing i do is right! yela... smua i salah pe... smua eu btol pe. everyday i cry bout eu. hoping besok eu tkkn give up kn i. i nk kiter slalu senyum je. tapi kadang i yang uat hal. haiis itu i nye fault. tapi biler nga happy2. eu bring my mood down. sape tk marah kn? itu pasal i slalu pikir ukan2. and eu. klao i tk sayang eu. i skarang da cari laki laen la eu. apsl i tkde laki laen? OBVIOUSLY i sayangkn eu kn?! haiis. i da tk nk waste my time lagi la kate i sayang u ni smua. feeling macam i da tk guna dlm hidup eu lagi per! just hoping one day before i die eu get to read this blog. I LOVE EU HILMAN! I REALLY2 DO!

DAY 30 Wake up around 9 todae. tk uat ape2 except maen computer smpai pkol 6. my family smua kluar. maen bowling... At 7 i kol ur FUCKING phone. IT RINGS! How can it rings?! Ouh yea. Eu PENIPU! Faiz blang i eu kluar nari. So it is 30 hari ukan 40 hari, SUNDAL! ehk tk pe. im fine with it. have fun for ur 10 remaining days. im here waiting for eu. but eu never wanna missed call my house fucker! URGH! just have fun! ITKRINDUEU!

DAY 29 todae pegi east coast park. i nangis bler i pegi sane. i jalan2 kat pond yang first time we meet. eu. i miss eu so much. i nk ngn eu baleq! kluar cepat eu!... eu i need help luhs eu. ur gurl need eu so much!!! IRINDUEU!

DAY 28 tk uat ape2 se eu. damn boring! then hazirah ajak kluar gi library. i pegi uhx. boring per kt umah. 3 hours je kt library then baleq. thats all. boring kn?! IRINDUEU!

DAY 27. tk uat ape2. kat umah aje. then my family smua kluar. i sorang kt umah. sedih kn? bler diorang baleq. i tk dpt ape2 pon. my adeqbradik smua dpt benda. haiis... bler eu kluar?! IRINDUEU!

DAY 26 pegi tuition je eu. boring sehh. ouhh then bler tgh tuition break i pegi mkn. then satu guy dari my tuition minta my number. i tk de kn. i tk bagi luhhs. lagi pon i tk nk bagi pon. eu. i tk contact laki laen pon seh! trust me tau! love eu! I RINDU EU!

DAY 25 todae i pegi skola. then miss zu cari psl. sial luhhs cikgu tu! hate her so so much!!! after that lpak2 ngn hazirah and nazeefah. kter bobal2 psl eu. i raser mcm nk nangis then diorang pujuk i. after that i pegi madrasah. i skip lagi... da 7 weeks i tk pegi madrasah. tu je la i uat. IRINDUEU!

DAY 24. todae sport day. i tk pegi... i pegi uma hazirah. then we go town. honestly, guys keep staring at us. yucks! lpas tu pegi compass point. jalan2... maen kat timezone... then pegi library. after that balek. thats all... I RINDU EU!

DAY 23 nari i skip skool. mrajok ngn my parents. then my father da give up ngn i. eu. i tk nk my prents give up completely seh eu. nnti i nk dpt duit dari mane? eu... everytime i kne marah ngn my parents. i slalu teringatkn eu. i just wish eu kat sni. and eu le tenangkn hati i sikit. but eu tk de. i miss eu so much eu! everyday i rite down al this thing ukan suke2. i just want to prove to eu that i will never forget eu no matter what! it is up to u to trust me onot. i really2 love eu sayangg! trust me please! I RINDU EU!!!

DAY 22 todae pegi skola. name i 3 kali masuk disiplline book. benci luhhs cikgu tuu. then after skool gi library ngn hazirah. lpas tu lpak bwah blok hazirah isap rokok. then i tros balek! boring sehh eu tkde. I RINDU EU!

DAY 21 tk pegi skola. malas. lagi2 i pon penat sehh. kat uma tdo smpai pkol 1.30... then uat bodoh. tgk tv smua tu je luhhs. boringg la seyyh! that all for todae! boringg knn? I RINDU EU!

DAY 20 bangun... pegi tuition... have fun... dancing... mcm biase... the thing in my head is eu! always eu. nangis je tentang eu... da 20 hari tau eu... im still waiting no matter what! many things happened. tapi dalam pikiran i mesti eu je! eu bole kate, "I TK NMPK PE, EU BOLE TIPU" eu dunno everytime i tdo i nangis smpai i tk le nangis. i tk le tdo klao i tk tawu how are eu doing. i skrg da tkt. MAS SELAMAT is out there. what if one day i kne ape2? i tk nk mati sebelum jumpa eu. please eu, after eu kluar, bruba eu plz! but i still want ur oldself tau... I RINDU EU I SAYANG EU!

DAY 19 satu hari i tk uat ape2 tapi kat tuition from 7.30-9.30pm. eu nk i uat pe lagi kn. bler tuition i nangis tentang eu je whenever i resting... i reallt tk le lupakn eu. imagine eu break ngn i... OMG!!! NO WAY!!! I RINDU EU!

DAY 18 pegi skola mcm biase. after skool lepak ngn hazirah, nazeefah and aini. bler lepak i bad mood... pikir2 tentang eu. cuma hazirah je nmpk i nga pikir psl eu. i really miss eu sayangg! 22 more days and it seems so so long! after lepak my dad call aini nye phone. i pegi tuition. smpai 9.30 pm. ngntok seh eu. nga tdo, i dgr lagu2 eu. eu, everywhere i go i think of eu. this shows i syanggkn eu kn!!! i love eu so much! I RINDU EU!

DAY 17 nari mimpi ngeri sehh eu! eu slamatkn i dari i bnoh diri. i sayangg eu so much!!! haha :) pegi skola mcm biase. then after skool ade business course. i jadi MARKETING BOSS. haiis! smua sabo i! sper sehh!!! lpas tuu straight home! I RINDU EU!!!

DAY 16 gi skola petang todae. ingt22 nk skip. tapi ngn sape kn? mcm biase kt skola. blajar, blajar, blajar... after skool gi lepak ngn hazirah. then kwn laki hazirah smua dtg. i tk lyn dorang okae! sumpah! dorang pon tk layan i haha. i baleqq umah around 7.30 boringg la eu.. I RINDU EU!

DAY 15 macam biasa je gi skool. then scott, my fren kater kwn dier nk jumpe i. dier bdak luar. then i kater i tk nk. then dier kater he will be waiting for me outside skool. then i macam WHAT THE FUCK seh! after skool. i ngn hazirah decided nk pegi uma hazirah la. then bler kluar, i completely forget scott ngn kwn dier kt luar. scott panggil i. then dier kater tht kwn dier da pratikn i da lame. dier nk number i. i tk bagi! sumpah! then he say dier antar i smpai busstop la. then i say tk pyh. thx alot but no! then scott kater la yang i sombong. then i pekik kat dier. "SCOTT COME ON LARH! EU NOE IM ATTACHED RIGHT!" "I LOVE CINO AND THTS IT LA!" then kwn dier kater, "jual mahal sehh" then i drag hazirah pegi la. i cry otw to rumah hazirah. i miss eu so so much! then bler i nk baleq, i take 854 long bus. bdak2 ite kat blakang panggil2 i. i ignore. then diorang kater, "pompan bwk bad pink tu sombong seh! ade number tk?" i then dngr lagu from my psp. m...

DAY 14 da 2 weeks i kehilangn eu. i miss eu so so much! nari i pegi skola. pagi2 my father da bising! i tu la ni la. i nk tgk musical dngn cikgu pon tkle! eu, i nid eu so much!!! i nk eu kt sni ngn i!!! its the same mcm dulu eu. my parents tk bobal ngn i lagi. only blog ni je la i bole bbl wif. I RINDU EU! CEPAT KLUAR EU!

DAY 13 mondae. kat skola. mcm biase eu. still crying bout eu. after skool ade course. quite boriin luhhs. baleq at 6.30 i naek bus nmpk name kiter eu. i nangis again... I RINDU EU!

DAY 12 haiis. eu. tk ya tanye i uat pe. its sundae eu. i tk kluar pon! boring se eu. still crying bout eu. miss eu! I RINDU EU!

DAY 11 eu. i tk le lupakn eu. please kluar cpt sikit la eu! i love eu and i miss eu so much! eu, i benci la dengan my dad. i tdo pelok gmbr eu tau. then my father amik gmbr eu. then dier cmpk! i tros terbangun se! i gadoh ngn my dad. see how much i love eu? i love eu too much to love my dad. I RINDU EU!

DAY 1 - DAY 10 i miss you so much sayangg... i cry everytime i pikir tentang eu. i tkle stop crying la eu. Bangun tdo nangis, dlm bus nangis, kat skola nangis, kat uma nangis and nk tdo nangis. 24 hours nangis je! i tk nk eu msok lagii. da la eu... stop it lahh. pargi keje je la laen kali... i am not having fun here tau! JANGAN UAT I MCM GNI LAGI LUHHS. 40 hari lama tau... Tapii i tetap akn tunggu eu. im sorry i da start smoking. i tk nk secret2 ngn eu. i promise myself after eu da kluar i akn stop! i rather smoke than cutting myself. i realli2 stress about eu. URGH! WHY MUST EU MASUK! and eu, tk mau lpskn i klao eu da kluar. i macam da bruba bnyk se eu. Tapi klau i ngn eu, i comfirm eu tkkn nmpk i bruba. 30 more days aru eu kluar. haiis. VALENTINE'S DAY tk dpt celebrate. 9 MONTHS ANIVERSARY tk dpt celebrate. 10 MONTHS ANIVERSARY tk dpt celebrate sedih tau i. eu, i tawu eu tk trust i tapi satu laki pon i tk contact.! i pikirkn eu je okae! I MISS EU SO MUCH MUHAMMAD HILMAN!

DAY 9 eu. i mimpi psl eu lagi seh eu. but this time i ngn eu da kahwin! haha. suke i. wake up, kat dlm toilet nangis psl eu. haiis... smpai skola then i saw a guy pkai baju CD. then i cry. i miss eu too much sayangg. i will wait for eu sayangg. IRINDUEU!

DAY 8 hello sayanggku! eu. i really miss eu... todae i uat test chemistry. then i tertdo. dlm 15 mins, i bole mimpi psl eu seh!. bile i bngon, i tros nangis. eu i realli miss eu! kpale i bole mletup sehh kat sni. eu, i miss ur voice, i miss our quarrels, i miss ur bed, i miss ur BEETLE! haha. eu, im still waiting for eu no matter wat! I RINDU EU!

DAY 7 eu... i mimpi sedih se eu. i mimpi i da nk mati and eu nangis smpai da tk le nangis. i just want tht to happen in real lyfe. bcoz. at least i noe eu love me. eu. for lyke one week i suffer without eu. satu laki pon i tk contact. trust me eu. i love eu. and i will never hurt eu. i just want eu right here beside me. be mine foreva la eu. i love eu MUHAMMAD HILMAN BIN ABDUL LATIF! I RINDU EU!!!

DAY 6 boringg se eu. eu. since the day eu masok, i slalu mimpi psl eu. narii i mimpi eu ngn i kt dlm jail. romance2. haha eu. i cuba nk try to do sumthin to make me not to cry psl eu. tapi susah eu. everytime i ingt psl eu, i nangis. till now, im still waiting for eu. ini eu kater i akn cari laki laen? sorrie la eu. eu got the wrong gurl. if i love tht sumone. i will love him till death. okae maybe zaim i love dier tapi uat ape nk pk org yang da tk syg i. and eu... dun ever ever leave me!. i still love eu my sayangg... I RINDU EU!

DAY 5 haiis. mimpi psl eu lagi. and i mimpi eu da kluar. and kter enjoy kat skola i. haha. wake up, nangis la ape lagi. then pegi tuition from 10am-6pm. lame sehh!. haiis... at least i uat benda baek dari buruk kn? otw baleqq uma, i nangis kt bus. why? psl i ingt psl eu la ape lagi?!!! TODAE OUR 9 MONTHS ANIVERSARY! i just cant stop thinking bout eu sygg. kluar cpt pleeeeeeeeeeease! I RINDU EU!

DAY 4 pegi skola lmbt nari. i teringt nk gi umah eu. tapi eu kt dlm... i nangis for awhile thinking bout eu. smpai skola kne lari 5 rounds. cikgu nearly confiscate necklace "C" and bracelet "CINO". i told them i akn simpan. smpai class smua bbl psl rockfest. diorang tanye whether i bwk eu tk. then i nangis again. i go home alone... thinkingg psl eu... what eu doin now, eu da mkn blom, eu saket tk, eu penat tk and whether eu miss i ke tk. i miss eu so much sayang!. I NEED EU!

DAY 3 tdo dengn picture eu agy. mimpi psl eu ngn i kt rooftop. i miss eu so much! todae valentine's day. alone with no one. kt skola smua org suro jgn sedih2. still cry bcoz i tk le celebrate ngn eu. haiis. apsl idop nk kne mcm nii sehh. i miss eu so much seh. but i tkle uat ape2. nothin much happen todae. straight go home. I RINDU EU!

eu. i didnt do anything much since eu masok. i kat dalam bilik hugging your photo, crying. i miss eu too much sayangg! i nk eu kluar sekarang juga! i everyday sembahyang and doa for eu. hoping tht eu kat dalam tk susah sangat. and i doa2kn eu tk akan lupakan i bile eu da kluar. i miss eu sayangg. i mimpi psl eu slalu sehh eu. i tk le have fun without eu kt sini dengan i. im not strong klao eu tk de. i rase mcm half of me da tk de eu. im just waiting for 21 march. lama pon i maseh bole tunggu. klao eu maseh ingtkn i, klao tk uat pe i tunggu. but wateva it is i will still wait. eu mataer i seh eu. i tk akan tinggalkn eu when eu susah. remember that eu say in one msg: "eventhough im not beside eu right now, my soul will always be with eu." now i give that msg back to eu sayangg. eu masok. i feel like i pon masok seh eu. i kat luar. feeling so lonely/sad/hurt. mcm i ngan eu break gito. feel like killing myself. but NO! eu will be out later. and i will be waiting for eu. SEE YOU W...

DAY 2 bangun at around 6.30. just psl i termimpi psl eu. and eu give me the adress of ur lock up place. but haha, i lupa. tdo balek. and bangun at around 9. tros gi mandi. and cry bout eu in the toilet. haiss. after mandi siap2 for skool. my parents smua diam je when i got out of the house. cry in the bus. bcoz i nmpk our name on the back seat. bile tron bus. no one is there to follow me to skool. so pegi sorang la. bile smpai skola everyone asked whether im okae onot. still crying but say im fine. nazeefah blanja me fries. and the whole day still thinking bout eu. the rest of the day was boring. i kat skola decorate class sorang2. sunyi sngt and makes me remind of eu lagi. i cry alone dlm class. tomoro da valentine's day and eu tkde. IRINDUEU!

DAY 1 i pegii skola rase very worried. in bus i nangis. i just hope eu will get at least onli 15 days. turun bus, cari ira for her hp then call eu. i dengar ur voice, i felt happy. after flag raising ceremony, i asked for ira's hp lagi. i call eu and hear ur voice again. i feel relax. after english class, i call eu. eu angkt again. eu waiting for the news. i da doa2 eu dpt light punishment. after maths class, i call eu. eu kater to call eu back later. i said okae after eu hang up. the next CALLS, eu didnt even pick up. but ur hp is still on. so i thaught eu nga bbl ngn ur officer luhs. during literature class. i got ur message tht says... "Jaga diri baik2 sygku.. i akn rindu u.. i duduk dlm 40 ari..i syg u" i nangis like hell hearing that. the last call i got from eu is after maths class. and i will never hear from eu for the next 40 days. my friends pujuk i, i cannot take it. i nangis tersedu-sedu. everyone hug me. and tell me to be strong. but i cant eu. i nangis smpai ...

eu. eu really going in... gosh!. if its really 30 days. i akn tetap tunggu eu. trust me when i say that. but when eu kluar, tolong jgn lupakan i. eu, i akn rindu eu so much! i tk akn cari laki laen. i PROMISE! i da ade laki yang terlalu sygkn i, uat pe nk cari laki laen... I MISS EU! I LOVE EU!

eu. I will still love eu eventhough eu da laen. eu start to hang up the phone faster than before. eu da change eu. not me. im trying to change for the best. but eu are changing to the worst. eu acted like eu don't love me when eu actually love me. right? why cant eu just show me eu loved me? It izint that hard right? eu. i will never leave eu. kter da tk le jumpe each other too much. and im just afraid eu cari pompan laen. i love eu sayangg i really do. dont let me caught eu with other gurl. i will give up my life when eu give up on me. i told eu that many times. i still feel eu love me. that is why im not going yesterdae. iloveeu!

todae i got to go out. i told him that i will see him. but then he pentingkn mak dier. dulu tk mcm nii sehh. eu slalu pentingkn ii dulu. what happened eu?! i noe family come first. but eu. i slalu pentingkn eu dulu sehh. eu da brubah eu. i tawu. one day eu will leave me. im just not ready for that day! PLEASE EU. I NEED EU! JANGAN EVER TINGGALKN I!

last night he told me one fuckingg bad news! hes been charge and hes goiin in for 10 days. iim really gonna miss him! iloveyousayang! iim just sad tht i cant celebrate valetines day with eu. can eu just concerntrate on ur werk more than me. i dun mind... now eu are goiin in. what should i do outside? im alone eu. i need eu!. i dun need anyone else but eu. i will be waiting for eu. iloveeusomuchHilman.

haiis. hes changingg too much now. last night he mrh2 tk tentu psl. then he say "da larh ii tk nk gdoh la". at night i called him. and he say, "im sorry kae eu, i da tkle percaye anyone anymore" he even means me. but no trust no love. then he say, "klao eu rase eu tkle hidup ngn i tanpa trust, eu lpaskn i je uh, i le terima". I WONT LPASKAN DIER LA! haiis!!!. the only person that i have now is him. only him. if hes gone, i rather be gone. ILOVEHIIM.

ii cuba have fun with my family. tapi im not havingg fun without eu around. kadang i rase mcm nk just run away with eu. i just tk nk eu get into trouble. we are stuck and cannot go anywhere together anymore. i miss our old times. its all my fault, i know. everything is because of me!. i wanna be ur permenant gurll. ukan pompan laen but me. i know i cant marry eu. but we can try. i tido i mimpi psl eu. i mkn teringt2kn eu. whateva i uat, eu mesti ade kt fikiran i. am i too much? imagine klao eu break up ngan i. i cannot take it and just pegi eu. i tk nk suffer just because the guy ii love da tk syg i lagii. but i know tht will not happen. we will always be together. no one can seperate us. tapi allah bole se eu. haiiss.

feeling more confident now. i know he love me and he will never let me go. he will never find anymore gurls. i trust him so much. BITCHES just cant get him anymore. our love are locked and we have thrown away the keys. only god could find the keys for other gurls. i just hope not. ciqano.♥