♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

His promises , fuck off . It has been alright this past few days . I always knew my happiness won't last forever . He promise to this and that . But what did I get ? What the fuck do I get Hilman ? Fuck every life I had with you !

Yes . It's over again . You tak pernah sayang I . And you know that . It's better we don't see each other again . You sanggup turun to see your "friends" , but tak sanggup nak turun and call me ? Suka eh you uat I macam gini ? URGHHHHHHHH !

Yes, the tears are real . I'm tired of ALWAYS trying to save this relationship . Now YOU save US yourself .

He lied about drug . I lied about a guy . Fair and square . I know that one day , that guy is useful for me to get my revenge on . It just hurts so much knowing that he took that thing w/o even thinking about me . About me and the guy were different . I don't even know him that well . I don't even know the real him . Even if I would to fall for him , I would fall for the fake one . He has been doing this for 3 years . Even if he promise to stop , he did it again . How can I know that right now his promise is real when he have been lying to me ? And yes , break up is the only solution . The way you responded to me was not at all showing any care . I am done . I gave up .

I found out that I lost my 50 bucks today ! And I know that it is THAT thing . I had ENOUGH of this ! I scolded you because you said that you are going to find that guy . But in the end , NOTHING BUT SHIT HAPPENS ! You scolded me back like as if I'm at fault ! And when we hung up , you didn't even bother saying sorry or to even comfort me . You did nothing the THIRD TIME it happened ! How can I not be angry ?! If we were to be over because of this and you won't chase after me , IT WILL BE OFFICIALLY OVER !

Whaaaaat a day ! Yes , today is our 51st month-sary . But we quarreled . Whenever he knoews I have money , he would ALWAYS ask from me . Grrr ! It was always something so unimportant !

My birthday is TODAY . And all he did was NOTHING ! I slept the whole time ! He promised me so much but ended up I got NOTHING ! Not even a cake for my birthday . I OFFICIALLY HATE HIM SO MUCH ! Never once he did anything for my birthday . After 4 years , all he did was nothing ! Is this how you show you love me ? Whatever la ! I'm not going to forgive you , EVER ! URGHHH !

He looks like Justin Bieber ? No way ! That was what my friends said ! Here's the picture . Does he reeeally ? LOL !

The day I became crazy . The day he left me alone , suffering for 12 hours . He did not answer my phone calls or my messages . I was insane finding for him . How can he not know that I love him so much ? How can he not know that I need him the most ? He did not even sound scared or worried when he answered my call . I really felt like dying . I really felt like killing myself . I punched a wall hard 4 times . Amalina was there to cheer me up . She successfully made me happy . But when he came , tears started forming . I can't believe he would leave me just like that . I can't stand the pain . I want him to leave me . And if not , I would leave him . Even if I say I would , I couldn't . I LOVE HIM <3

I don't like to tell you about this . And you never wanna hear about this anymore . So , I rather just write here . Somewhere maybe you would see . I love you sayang . I love you more than you think . But when I look at you , it makes me think about the past . The past about you and your exes . The past where you were in bed with them . It is like being with a guy that already felt , touch , kiss other girls instead of me . Moreover MAKING LOVE with them . I am accepting every single one of that . But thinking about it could just make me so so so mad . Sigh . . . I couldn't erase the past can I ?

It has been so long since my last post . Fortunately I'm still with him (: Celebrated his birthday on 27 January . We had our ups and downs everyday . But somehow I had a feeling that this ups and downs are an answer that we won't be long together. ): Sayang , yes I am angry with you most of the time . And it is only because I remembered about our past . It is hurtful . Even words can't describe . I don't know . Maybe I do want you to leave me . But I know that I'll be hurt . So I rather be with you even if it hurts . But the hurt is different than you leaving me . If you could read my heart , I would let you . Listen to what I really feel that I just could show . I love you sayang . Forever and Always .