What is happening ?

I can't .

I just can't .

I can't take it anymore .

I'm changing .

Just wait and see .

But whatever it's keeping inside of me , I wouldn't want to let it out ever again .

I know you are my everything .

You will always be my everything .

But sometimes something I have to keep to myself .

I cannot control my feelings .

Anytime in one day , my feelings can change anytime .

I can talk happily with you .

But inside I'm hurt .

But when after we hang up the phone , I can be angry with you with no reason .

I don't know why .

But what I know I can't live without you .

I can't make a day without knowing you are alright .

You are right , I've been thinking about what I want and not what you want .

I'm really sorry .

Keeping something that is a bother is not good for anyone .

Especially me who have a weak heart .

I need you to know this

: I always think we won't make it together in the future .

: I always think that one particular day you going to find someone new .

: I always think that you can't have a good future for me and *Rayn* :)

: I always think that I might die , b/c of you .

But even if I think about that , I love you till death Hilman .

You are not a part of my soul .

YOU ARE MY SOUL .

Without my soul , I can't live .

It hurts me a lot whenever you never care and ask anything about me .

When I cry , have you ever hug me and say it's going to be alright ?

When I cry , have you ever wipe my tears without me telling you ?

Remember the day when you did not pick up my calls ?

And you were suppose to be on your way to my place already .

I thought something bad happened .

I thought you were involved in an accident .

I was totally totally scared and ran down to take a bus to your place .

I was crying thinking about that .

But when you finally pick up my calls , and I was still crying , you sounded like I am crazy .

You see me infront of you , crying , but you did not even hug me .

When I told you about it , then you started comforting me .

Yeah , I was laughing , but inside , "What a disappointment"

Then , @ around 10+ I cried thinking of what you really , MAYBE , did with Lydia .

@ that time of moment , you wiped my tears .

See what I meant ?

You have to do something when I wanted you to .

Why can;t you automatically know what I what .

Let alone what GIRLS want .

I love you still .

You lived through my secondary school life .

How can I ever forget you ?

I've been with you for nearly 3 years .

Thats a long time you know .

And I want it to go on . . .

I will change for you .

Wait . . .

Just wait .