♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

Sayang , I need you to read this . And please don't be angry . I can't forgive myself . I promised myself not to hurt you . But I hurt you alot this time . I know you can't forget this . Even if you say you've forgotten , I know you are lying . You told me you can't sleep well the night after you heard about my secret . You kept on looking @ my pictures and you just couldn't believe that I did that . You cried thinking about what I did . When I heard about that , you made me cry . I totally regret doing that . I just wish I can delete what I did . But I know I can't . I know you've said you forgave me . I know that you are sincere . I know you will never take revenge on me . But doing that make me feel much more guilty and can't forgive myself . You let me off easily without even yell @ me or even breaking up with me . You just say that I'm forgiven and telling me to forget whatever happened . It's killing me . Tell me you hate me . Tell me y...

Hilman was sitting right next beside me while he was talking with his friend . I repeat , Right Next Beside Me . He turned back to me with his hand to his ear like a telephone and said , : Hello . : Huh ?! ( I burst out laughing ) # Yesterday , we were talking about ghost . So I asked him what if a real ghost call his phone . First thing obviously he would think it was a prank . Second thing , OBVIOUSLY he will , well you know . . . Vulgar tongue . And if it really continue , he said , : Orang semua report pat police . . . : Uh huh . You nak report pat police ? : Tak , I report pat masjid . LOL ! xD

Yesterday , Hilman and I sat under the trees , on a bench . He was in a "Jiwang" mood . He switch on "Izinkan Selamanya Namamu Di Hati" . Then , "Hanya Kau Yang Mampu" He sang all those to me . Until I switch , "Tak Selamanya Selingkuh Itu Indah" I said, :Ni lagu untuk you . :Kenape ? :Dengar je . "Betapa ku mengerti sebagai selingkuhanmu ku harus jalani ikatan yang tersembunyi ku mencoba bertahan meskipun menyakitkan tak menyisakan sebuah sesal di hatiku Selama aku bisa membuatmu bahagia berpaling ku tak mungkin singgahi hati yang lain sebatas harapanku mohon pengertianmu bahwa ku ingin memilikimu seutuhnya Seiring berlalu bergulirnya waktu membuka rahasia di antara kita pastinya kan ada hati yang terluka . . ." ( He cried after this ) : You , tukar lagu . : I'm really sorry . : Gangster gangster pun , satu hari akan nangis jugak . ( I wiped his tears ) Takmo uat lagi please you . : I won't

Happy 31st Month-sary ! Apparently we are still together . How can we ever break up when he love me so much and never letting me go ? Yesterday Hilman countdown to our month-sary . He said : Lagi 14 more minutes . : 14 more minutes to what ? : Lupa ? : Jap eh . (Finding my phone) : Today kan 15 . : Oh . Eh ? Hehe . Scariest thing happened yesterday ! AHN CALLED ME ! During I was with Hilman @ bus stop , going home . Can he wait till I take the bus and then call me ?! And how did he knows I get my phone back ?! Hilman told me to message him saying , not to disturb me anymore . Hilman asked alot of questions . I'm a drama queen . So I get way from everything . But my deepest secret is killing me ! @ the time of my month-sary , we were having fun talking craps . Until I asked him the 4th question , : What if dulu bila you belum betul2 sayang and I belum betul2 sayang you , I kiss a guy and sekarang bila we really love each other baru I bilang you . What will you do ? : I tanya you du...

Imagine I am the one who is in cell . What will you do ? Will you wait for me ? Will you enjoy yourself while i'm inside ? Will you go and find a new girl ? Why must you do this ?! Why can't you listen to me and stay out of trouble ? And now you are going in . Not only you who are suffering . Me too ! You hurt me enough . YOU DON'T LOVE ME !

I thought I will never think of breaking up . But I just did . How I wish one day you will tell me everything and never tell me lies . I know you have some secrets hidden from me . Secrets that you think it will hurt me . So, don't worry, everyone have secrets . I won't ask you if you don't want to tell me . Everyday I feel like our relationship are nearly over . Sooner or later you or I will ask for break up . I wanted to feel as if there are no problem between us . But when we are so happy and so sweet together, problem will attack us in just a little time . Why Hilman ? I want to be with you forever . But being with you like this till after marriage would be a problem . You can't just follow your friends everytime . My heart sometimes feel like breaking up . But I know it will hurt me so much if we break up . I don't know whether you will be hurt or not because you don't seem to care . You will start cursing me up and down if I do something wrong . But did I ...