Letting you go .

He's gone .
For awhile , maybe .
I'm just getting ready for the real final goodbye .


Final phone call . (29 Oct, Thursday , 10:30PM)

Me: Can we talk ?
Him: I penat and ngantok . I tidur dulu kay ?
: NO! We. Need. To. Talk!
: Pasal ape, sayang ?
: What do you want to do with your life right now ?
: I tak tahu . Yang I tahu I nak dengan you aje .
: No, no, no. Have you ever think about your future ?
: I tak tahu la you . I nak dengan you and kahwin dengan you till the end .
: I'm not talking about this . I'm serious . Your kerja ?
: I tak main2, you . I masih kerja pe .
: Permanent job ?
: I nga pikirkan la . Yang penting I sayangkan you .
: No , you don't . Have you ever listen to me ? Did you ever stop the things that I told you to ?
: I tahu I jahat . Walaupun I jahat , I tetap sayangkan you . You gi tidur okay ? Da malam .
: I belum makan .
: You takmo make yourself suffer just because of me .
: You care about this . But have you ever care about how I feel ? How my heart hurts ? Why I scold you ?
: I akan stop amek benda tu semua .
: It takes time right ?
: Ye la . But I promise I akan stop .
: You, we have to do this . (Deep breath)
: Ape dia sayang ?
: Selepas you da solve problem you semua , you contact I balik kay ?

*Silent

: Okay sayang . . . You takmo pergi dengan lelaki lain kay ? (Still calm)
: I tak akan .
: You sayang I kan ? (Begin crying)
: I sayang you .
: *Cries
: You ?
: Takmo. . .tak. . .takmo. . .tinggalkan I . (Crying. Well, you get the idea)
: I won't .

*Skip important stuffs .

: Jumpa I besok please . (Still crying)
: No .
: Please .
: No , I tak nak .
: I rindu you . Please you .
: No .
: *Cries
: This is going to be my last call and I will be waiting for your call . (Forcing myself not to cry)
: I tak akan lupakan you sayang . I love you .
: I love you too .
: I will call you lepas semua problem I da habis okay ?
: Okay .
: Bye sayang .


Only god knows how much it hurts .


"If you love someone let him go .
If he comes back , it's yours .
If it doesn't it was never meant to be ."