♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

You never want to leave me . I try my best to make you give up on me . But it does not seem to work . You kept on being patient at me . Why can't you let me go like you did with other girls before . And I knew the answer . It is so obvious but my heart always never want to believe it . You love me .

You scold me like I am a no one to you . I just broke your watch . The only thing I broke and you scold me so much ! But when your friend dirtied/tore/broke your stuff , you never even scold them ! Why ? Is it because I am a girl ? Or is it because you love them more ? Please eh you , I do not want to hear anymore STMF ! Yesterday I didn't want to go home . I was alone . Not with any other person . A-L-O-N-E , ALONE ! I am sorry for not going home straight . I feel so lonely and I feel like there are nothing between us anymore . I thought I want to go and hilangkan diri . But then I fikir balik . There is no use . I still want to live with you even if we quarrel . So I went home after a long thought . When I reached home , I straight to sleep . Then you called . You are so so angry and said, "Kau call aku kalau kau da okay . Aku tak suka kacau orang nga bad mood . Aku bukan anjing kau untuk call kau je . Aku cari kau macam satu peh anjing . Kau kalau dah okay kau call aku , ka...

My Darling Hilman , I love you a lot . My love for you is uncountable . But maybe we should go our separate ways . For YOUR own good . Not for my own good . My own good is having you here with me everyday . But for your own good never include me at all . I never want to break up with you at all . I never thought of leaving you . But when I think about our past , YOU like asking for break many times which I know that one day you would ask for the real one . Recently , I believe everything you say . I do not want to get hurt hearing the truth . So I accepted whatever you say . If is was the truth then its good . But if its a lie , then just keep it to yourself . I would never ask for break , I would never accept a break . Only if you are serious about it then I have no other way to go . You know you are my life , my heart , my breath , my everything . But I guess you never appreciate that . You always tell me to treasure something I have and do not ever made a mistake that could ...

I WANT BREAK UP ! BUT I LOVE YOU A LOT ! I wan to break up with you and I want to go leaving this world . I guess there is no use living in this world with guilt killing me . Waiting for the right day . I love you a lot Hilman !

He apologized to me a thousand times . He said , "You , I da minta maaf banyak kali tapi you masih marah kat I . You nak I buat ape ? Bunuh diri ?" Yea right . As if you would for me . Then he gave up apologizing since I never want to make up my mind . He said , "Okay , simple , kau nak uat ape kau uat . Mulut aku smpai berbuih bilang kau yang aku dengan dier stakat kawan . Kau nak revenge atau uat apa-apa kau uat la . Aku tetap sayangkan kau . Bye ." Still , I am mad and never will cool off . I am sorry Hilman if it ends like this . I know you will call me later and we would be back to normal . Normal ? I do not think so . Even if we are okay , but this time it would not be like before . You told me you cried perspiringly when you dreamt about me asking for break . HA . HA . Whatever . I love you Hilman , I guess this is the end of our previous love life . After this would be our new love life .

Finding out the truth sometimes hurt . All you can do it breathe . # I found a photo from Prashanth's blog . And this one photo is his friends and him . And then there is this girl at the most-right . And the thing that pissing me off is that he had his hand over that girl's shoulder . I know him , and he never do that except . . . So I called him . And he was so angry about me being so childish . I was like , "Eh , matair mana tak marah nampak gambar macam gitu ?! Even wives are like that ! and you are saying I am childish ?!" Seriously Hilman , find a new word la . I want to be strong . And I did . When he hung up in the middle of the talk , I throw the phone wishing he would never call . I tried , "Do not call Hilman , do not call Hilman" But I did , just to tell him that whoever the girl is , I don't care . Then he do not want me to get revenge . He said , "I pandang dier stakat kawan lama I je . Tak lebih . Kalau I buat salah , I'm sorry ka...

I feel lost . I feel so hurt . I feel like I need someone badly . I feel like crying . I feel like I am missing someone . My heart beats so fast . My hands and feet are sweating . My mind think only the negative of you . Is this love ? It is hard to tell you what I am feeling right this moment . I feel like breaking up with you but I love you too much . I do not want to hurt you anymore , that is why I want to break . I do not want to make you angry everytime you see my face . But sometimes I do not know what I did wrong . And sometimes you are the one who is wrong but you scold me . You got it ? Maybe your love towards me never exist in you . Maybe you were just pretending . I know I could not read your heart . But what you are showing me shows everything . Everytime you tell me that "Only god knows" , really irritate me . What do you mean by that ? Were you trying to tell me you love me ? Or were you just STMF ?! I just wish you could be mine forever . Understood ?

Hilman , Can I stop loving you and leave you just like that ? I think KNOW we will not last forever . With your attitude and behavior like that , I do not think there are even the feeling live in you . You said you love me , but never show . You said you care for me & you said you missed me . But you seem like you never want to meet me at all . Yesterday you carried my heavy bag to interchange and back again . You said that it was okay . You said you could carry it . But what I see is that you kept on changing sides which means your shoulder was painful . I asked for the bag but you refused and you said you don't want my shoulder to hurt . But you never said that sweetly . You said it as if I did something wrong . At night you called me and you said you missed me a lot of time my I refused to answer . BECAUSE you never answer me EVERY TIME I asked you that kind of question . You said that I was 'action' . At least better than yours . Yesterday I jokingly said that I...

Muhammad Hilman Bin Abdul Latif . You are totally blowing me off ! Fuck la . You KNOW you are in the wrong and you maki-maki I ! You KNOW I am right about you . You KNOW you are looking at that girl and you deny it ?! So that is why I tell you to look at her if you want to . I won't force you at all . WHAT I AM PISSED OFF IS THAT , YOU EVEN DARE TO MAKI-MAKI I ! WHICH IS SOOOO NOT MY FUCKING FAULT !