♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

I went out today . Meet Kak Aisyah and Abang Hidir . That is what I've been doing actually . I had fun with them . They will try their best to cheer me up . They are there for me everytime . So you should thank them . I tried concentrating on my studies . You don't know how hard it is when I'm thinking about you too much . Even if I can cope with my studies , there will be some tiny mistake I'll make . You complete me . but since you are not here right now , I'm incomplete . I need another half of the moon . And it'll be a full moon . A new moon .

I'm celebrating December/January/February Birthday . Great anyway. While I'm having fun , I still couldn't forget about you . Even if I tried so so hard . The more I tried , the more I think . So I'll just stop trying and think about you 24hrs . I'm living a normal life here . I will try my best not to kill myself . You promised me not to leave me . You promise me to be there when I'm sad/lonely . But where are you now ? Can you please come home soon ? Someone you love misses you .

I mean it . I want you to kill me . I'm suffering here without you . I want to hold you , but I can't . I want to hug you , I still can't . I want to kiss you , I just CAN'T ! All I can do is just think about you . Take me with you . I rather be in jail with you than living here alone . Even if we are lost , it won't be a problem because you are with me . But now ? You are way waaaaaaayyyyyyyy apart from me . Are you thinking about me ?

Yesterday , I can't sleep . My heart stopped again . But this time it was like different . It's like I'm dying soon or something . I was so SO thirsty . I drank so much but I'm still thirsty . I want to live . I want to meet you again . I tried hard and hopefully I'm back tomorrow . And HERE I AM ! I read this blog from the beginning . It really breaks my heart seeing all you did to me . But I know you have changed . So hopefully you will stay like this forever . I'm losing weight . I don't know why . I'm thinking about you 24 hours . When are you coming back ? I miss you loads !

It has been A WEEK I lose you . How do you think I'm doing ?! I'm still waiting for you no matter what . Where is the letter ? I'm still waiting for it . Are you going to write or not ? I need to know how you are doing . Are you thinking about me ? Are you crying because you miss me ? Don't leave me like this ever again please . You are killing me right here . I maybe not sick . But inside, each of my organs are like dying . Take me in prison with you . Please . :(

Too many terrible things happened to me at one time in school . It's like a roof came tumbling down on me . But I settled it all already . When I'm alone I think about you . I am still waiting for the letter you said you would give . Are you going to give me ? Even if it's only a month , I need to hear how you are doing . I miss you . I need you . I still LOVE you .

You , when you're gone , everything changes ! I settled with Lina already . Well , shouting @ first . But then slowly we talked . But before that , you don't know how much it hurts . Feeling that my OWN friend backstab I . Truly disappointing . But I got over it already . I went to Bedok Library after I reached home straight after school . I miss our time together . When will it be back ? I miss you a lot ! My heart still ache since you are gone . You don't know how much it really hurts . Hilman , be back as soon as possible pleaase . I NEEEEEEEED YOU .

I woke up today to Madrasah . I still thinks about you . I think about you too much . When i reached home , I went straight to sleep . At the middle of the sleep , my heart really have a very very very sharp pain ! Whenever I breathe in , my heart hurts . I call out your name alot of time after I baca doa . I don't want to die . I want to see you again before I die . My heart really hurts . You don't know how hurt I am . Sayang , are you doing fine ? Do you miss me ? Of course you do ! I miss you too !

I can't dream about you . Why ?! I want to dream about you !!! Yesterday , I really cannot sleep . All I did was cry . I cry too much until there was a very sharp pain in my heart . I straight away drink some water . Today I did nothing . I played The Sims for the whole day . Sekarang cousin I datang . Later Hakim call me . Berbual je you . Hilman , why must you go ? Why did you go without saying goodbye ? I miss you . I have to feel you . I NEED to feel you . I know you miss me too . I love you . ALOT !

Went to school . School was normal . Had fun . But no one knows how hurt I am inside . Because someone I love , is gone . Well , for a month . I tried to forget you so that I can lead a normal life . I laughed along with my friends . But when I'm alone , I think about you again . I can't forget about you . And I won't . But sometimes I must because I'll start crying again . I'm home now . I went straight home . I can't sleep . I keep on thinking about you . I can't seems to lead my life normally right now . I want to hug you . Not hearing your voice is killing me . My head hurts . I need you now . I need you to give me a massage . Hilman , I miss you . :(

Morning was not good . Been thinking about you the whole day . In the bus , I was reading all the messages you have given me . Obviously I cried . But then I stop . I don't think it's good to cry while going to school . I don't want people to ask . I received your message . You did not even message me ILOVEYOU . All you said was , you are already in court and you will update me later . And that was your last message . I thought I would get another message from you . But no . :( At 4:19 PM , I received a message from Hatim . And he said you are in for a month . I don't know how to react . All I did was cry , cry , cry . I need some time alone . I have to think . What am I going to do when you are gone ? Only study , study , study ? I need to have fun too . But I guess I shouldn't . Because you are inside suffering and I can't be outside having fun . I went downstair alone . I can't stand even one day not hearing your voice ! It can make me so so crazy like he...