I can't handle myself anymore .
Maybe this is it ?  I really do not know what to do now .  All I can do now is hope that one day you realise how much I love you .   I couldn't forgive you because I have a reason to do so .  You've been apologising for the SAME mistake over and over again .  And I'm stupid anough to forgive you every single time .  But now , I can't . No more .   When I ask you to leave me for a week , I hear from your voice that you really do not want it .  I've known you for too long to know you well enough .  But I need to leave you . I have to .   I'm not going to contact you for a week .  I'll get back to you by next Thursday .  But that depends on you .   I'm not asking for much .  I'm just asking for your real love .  For that Hilman that I once really fall in love with .  That Hilman who I can see in his eyes that he is sincere .