♥ LoveLane LoveStory ♥

I just needed help once . If you refuse it @ first then it is alright for me . But then sooner if you trying to make me happy my helping me , it is just mean that you just kesiankan I . I just asked for a simple help and you just can't do it ?! Have I ever say no to you if you needed help ? I don't think so . You know I love you . You know I am madly in love with you . Are you trying to take advantage of me because you know that I won't let you go ? No , no , no . Don't ever think like that . Because I will do something if you ever cross the line . I won't ask anything from you anymore . I can do everything by myself . Even if you don't want to show your love towards me , I don't mind . I'll accept anything and also appreciate everything you will do to me . I'm sorry , but I just CANNOT feel the love . I just CAN'T ! Tell me why Hilman , WHY ?!

Last two days , I thought we are really going to be over . I took 9 Panadols . Then I felt like it is not working . I took 5 ubat selsema . Then baru I rase . I kept on calling out your name . I'm crazy about you Hilman . I can't bear seeing you leave . Even if I ask for break up , I always don't mean it . Because I cannot live without you . I've said that too many times . I explain everything to you already . Hopefully you believe me that I am willing to change . Hilman , forever till death , I will love you .

First . Read the picture above . There was once I asked , "What do you hate about me?" And you said , "I cuma nak kejujuran." And you also said that you love me for who I am . Then what have you been saying the whole 5 hours just now ? Second . Read the picture above . Have you ever once forget me and think that you hate me ? If you ever think that , maybe you don't really love me . Thirdly . Read the picture above . That is what I've been trying to tell you . That is what I mean . Lastly . Read the picture above . Is it hard to tell me , straight in my eyes , that you love me ? That is all I need .

I WANT YOU TO KILL ME !

You told me before that you akan listen to everything that is bothering me . But when yesterday I told you about those girls , you da start tinggikan suara . So I thought i rather not tell you anything anymore . But at night after i told you that i won't tell you anything anymore , you beg me to tell you . And then you say you're sorry . Is that all ? I don't know whether I should tell you anything anymore . Because I know how you will react .

Hilman: Muka badut sarkas kepala dungga. :) He don't really know what that means either . @ his house right this moment . Hilman is insane about his hair . He is having this bad habit thingy that I'm relaly worried about . It just feel so scary when something he's doing but he did not even realise it . If anything happens to you, I swear . . . Can't live without you, you know . Been seing you since you come out of jail . You don't know how happy I am spending time with you . I rather spend time with you than any one else . Because being with you, even if we don't do anything, I'm happy . Love you loads !

He is back !!! :) Hilman, you don't know how thrilled I am when I get to see you . I miss you like hell ! I hugged you tight when I see you . I felt like crying when I see you . After 2 weeks I'm alone, finally I get to see you . One day with you after two weeks alone is not enough ! I need you everyday . Don't leave me alone ever again ! After prison , people who know you asked about marrying me . I smiled . But you don't know how my heart feels . :D :D :D I'm surprise and also quite jumpy inside . Haha . Everyone knows we've been together for a long time . Have anyone ever asked you like that when you are with your ex ? I'm just wondering . :)

Hopefully what Hatim said is true . I hope you are out by tomorrow . I really really miss you so so much ! Tadi satu hari I tak keluar . Sebab ade e-learning . So kat rumah buat kerja sekolah je la . Then @ 10:30 , Hakim and Zaim ajak conference . So we talk talk talk until 11:30 . Berbual merepek meraban dengan diorang uh . And now , I need you . I miss you . Come back and hug me . I miss everything we did together .

ARE YOU REALLY COMING BACK THIS SATURDAY ?!!! Hatim messaged me . Omg ! I can't wait to meet you . I want to hug you 24/7 !!! Faster come back okay ! The days feels like years when I'm alone . I love you still .

I dreamt about you last night . It fellt so real . When I hugged you in my dream , I woke up . I cried , thinking about you . I wanted it to really happen . I can't go on without having you by my side . Come back fast . Someone here is missing you very madly badly !

Today I pergi Bedok Library to borrow books . I makan kat Mcdonald pat interchange Bedok . Taik hidung kawan you pun I tak nampak . Takkan diorang semua pun masuk jail dengan you ? Haha :) I'm living like normal right now . I live and laugh . But I just feel like I'm acting . Because at night , I akan nangis macam baby . I don't eat much these days . I seems slimmer than usual . I need you to suapkan I . :D Da nak masuk dua minggu you tinggalkan I . Tak rindu I ke ?

This is what I did today . I did not go to school . I was sick this morning . Because yesterday , before I sleep , I tak makan . The photo up there is some of the sentence you sent me . I put it nicely till that . I still haven't heard about you . How are you ? I needed to know . I'm still waiting for your letter . Where is it ? You promised to send me a letter . Please PLEASE , take care of yourself .